Finding My Place

Posted on Tuesday, December 11, 2007 at 01:02

I am finding out that I am not who I thought I was.  With the passing of time, I have discovered that I no longer care about many of the things that I once thought were so important.  Coming from a background of farming folk, I spent years making plans to leave the farm, and "make something of my life."  I went to college, and soon joined the corporate world, in the field of medicene.  While my career took off, I found that my heart began to cry out for the return to the land.

I have been married to a wonderful man for twenty years, and we have three beautiful children.  For many years, I taxied them to school, and worked.  I thought I had it all.  A sucessful carrer, a nice home, and a closet full of designer labels. 

Then one day, I realized that I was greiving for my old home.  I wanted to walk through the fields with my Dad, smell the earth, and feel the dirt between my toes, just like I had when I was a little girl.  I remembered the times we had wandered in the wheat fields, when he would take a stalk of wheat, and show me the grains, telling me to "look and see what God has made."   He truly loved the land, and he was a marvelous gaurdian of what God had given him.  After he passed into eternity, I began to miss that more than words can say.

I wanted that feeling, that wonder, to fill my soul again, and I knew,  it was time to re-evaluate what I had thought I wanted.  I sat down with my husband, and told him how I felt.  We both knew that something had changed drasticaly,  and that something was me.  I needed to find my place, and I needed to go home.   My husband said he had been waiting to hear those words for years.

After a few years, we did return to the home of my youth, and let me tell you, it was the best decision we have ever made.  Though we have yet to own the acerage I would like to, we do have a lovely old home, that we are slowly restoring.  It sits in a small valley, with fields on either side, and a large one in front.  Most of my family's land will one day be mine.  Yet, I find I am in no hurry.  Because, I know I still have so much to learn to be the kind of steward my father was.  But, with time, patience, perserverance, and God's help, I will become what I know I should be. A woman of the land, who is steeped in the beauty of God's green earth.

I hope one day, when I see my Dad in Heaven, he will say to me, " Baby,  the rows are straight,  and the harvest is good, " just like he did when I walked in those fields so long ago.

                                         My place is here.  Thank God for it.

                                                             Mistypearl