Transplanted City Girl
• Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - My barnyard Nemisis
I thought you guys might get a kick out of the story of my dear
goose. I posted this a long time ago on my other blog, but now
I'm at a new site.... Enjoy!
Why, oh why? Why? I need to know WHY in the world we keep this stupid goose in our barnyard! That goose.....
Okay, I'll explain myself. The Smith family
used to have a flock of geese. They got tired of the grouchy
things, and sold them all, only to receive a phone call a few days
later that one of the geese was going berserk and would not quit.
Turns out this goose was in love with our barnyard guard dog, Shiloh,
and couldn't stand the seperation. So Gertie (Who is believed to
be male) came back here.
It just so happens that I like Shiloh and Shiloh
likes me. This is completely unacceptable in the eyes of our
lovestruck Gertie, and I never knew geese could be so, well,
evil! Everytime I walk into the barnyard, here comes a hissing,
flapping, furious thing that annoys the living daylights out of
me. But until recently, I have stopped him by yelling and kicking
dirt in his direction.
Now for the good part. We have an orphan calf
right now. He does not need bottle fed, but each day it is
my job to separate him from the other animals into a small pen just
outside on of the barn doors, and give him a healthy dose of Calf
Growena, which is a mixture of corn, molasses, super-duper-grow-fast
pellets, etc. Unfortunately, my greedy friend the goose can
slip under the rail and come steal the grain.
For a few days I stayed in the pen with Ribeye and
banged and kicked incessantly on the lower rail of the fence to prevent
dearest Gertie from entering. But yelling at a goose for 20
minutes while my sweet little calf takes his sweet long time eating
gets old fast. Besides, I was always afraid somone would come out
and see the sight I made waging war on a goose.
Well, a few days ago I went into the barnyard, said
hello to Shiloh, and she didn't move from her doghouse. And next
thing I know, Gertie is running around hissing and trying to bite
me. I finally bonked him on the head with the grain can, and he
backed up, but now, I have to walk backwards, because the instant my
back is turned, here comes Gertie, again. I had to throw a shovel at
him and bonk him on the head (again) just to get out of Ribeye's pen
and through the barnyard gate! Now it has gotten to
the point where I do not enter that barnyard without a long stick in my
hand. And one of these days..... Well, Gertie will get more
than a bonked head!
Well, after the abov epost, I thought I had Gertie fairly well
trained. Apparently not well enough, I just made him start
planning his attacks. For example, he had not bothered me in
days, when I had three freinds over. We were out in the barnyard,
and there, in front of all my friends: he attacks! Oh, the
embarrasment as I hope madly around a hissing gray attack weapon.
And as if that wasn't bad enough, then when Shadoe kidded out, I dashed
from the house to the barn in my flip-flops. (these are difficult
to kick in...) Leaving the barn and walking by the manure pile,
Gertie comes hissing out of no where. So I pull off one
flip-flop, swing it at his head and hop frantically backwards on the
other foot (trying to stay out of the manure) and towards the
gate. I was simply thankful that no one was watching. Since
then I have not worn flip-flops into the barnyard unless Chrs was with
me, and Gertie has stayed far away. For now. I can't wait
to see his next plan.
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