My Private Farm off the Farm

• Monday, October 20, 2008 - Goin' Homeschool...

Okay.. we are in. I just CAN NOT TAKE the drive anymore. I really feel that God put me in a ciderpress (hey, it's the harvest season, lol)... and is prrrrrrrreeeeesssssssssing me to do the homeschool thing. Everyone is on board.. everyone is all about us homeschooling. My anxiety is to a new level about leaving the house... and I truely believe my "anxiety" is actually God removing some type of grace that before now was for me driving the crazy distance to our Waldorf school. That lifting of grace is the ciderpress I am talking about. No harm is coming of it.. it just is the last way He is using to really guide me towards something that I know He wants...at least for this school year. I have so many kids lol. Two are still learning English after only getting here from Guatemala 4months ago. But I think I am capable of being the best teacher for everyones individual needs. I just wish I could sit down with another mom to a big family.. one with such diverse needs as mine.. but really, lol.. what are the chances. Oh right and that mom would have to be homeschooling her kids, lol. On a really intersting note that I don't want to forget.... So my daughter (one of 2 from Guate) is 5 years old and has lived with me 4months. Her last fostermom had her for 4 months... and they say there is some "muscle memory" to that... as in .. after 4months she gets shipped off... So although my dd has been a bit off for the week.. I have just tried to support her without putting her in a spotlight of sorts. And of course I have been praying for her... Then the night of her 4month anniversary she dreams... up till now I have never heard her speak of dreams.... But her dream was that birds came and picked her up with their beaks and took her to "norma's casa" (fostermoms house)... the birds who took her were light blue and the ones who took her sister were white.... How crazy is that... so anyway .. I told her the next morning that "Momma would be so sad... and I will take .....this hanger and beat those birds... muerto!" To which she told me it was "up up up"...as in too high to reach....Well I told her that her whole family (naming all grandparents and aunts and family) will get in "tio Ben's la avion and we will grab you and hug you .. and we will beat those birds muerto"... She laughed and gave me a hug.. and then we all told her ways that we would be sad if she was gone... but no matter what we will come for her.. and we willnever let anyone snatch her away, because we are her family and we love her so much. I just think that is awesome that God gave her that dream to articulate to us what was going on in her mind... and then in turn we could really validate her security in our family.... I know we will do it again in other ways.... but isn't it amazing how He works?!

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• Tuesday, October 14, 2008 - Pepping up homeschool

Okay.. so how about this? I go the cyberschool route for this year to give myself some hard and fast guide lines.... It feels like a safe starting place.... I know it won't satisfy me for long. Okay the problem is we currently do Waldorf school....and Iove it... and cyber school is very far away from Waldorf concepts... but aside from that... How do I pep up cyberschool? How do I make it mine? IT seems like a lot of child and computer... which is fine to start.. but I can't allow my son to sit there and be taught by the computer.. I love interacting with my children...all 6 of them. So how can I pep it up? I did find a website that has some books I would be all over to include in our program... http://www.challengemath.com/primarygrade.htm That looks really cool. Do any of you mommas have opinions? Please sock it to me... I would love to hear from others on this.

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• Monday, October 13, 2008 - still can't figure it out

B's birthday went wonderful. She really thought I did a great job on her cake and everyone had a great time. I have to say I am pretty relieved to have our "birthday season" over ...three in a row was a lot of special cake making and present buying. Only 4 peeps hatched. We had 41 eggs... not very good, lol. Well the kicker was dh bought expensive eggs (told him not to buy them if they got pricey... but he *had* to have them, lol..he is so sweet)... Anyways... we had 34 eggs ready to go.. but the special eggs were delayed so we had to put the 37 in the basement to "hold them over" a few days till the pricey eggs showed up. The bummer is after all that.. those 7eggs didn't hatch at all... so we risked all the other 34eggs for the 7 and we only got 4 to hatch.. . After some teeth pulling we got the seller of the pricey eggs to send us more for the price of shipping and handling. Frustrating that we lost so many eggs waititng on those 7 but live and learn. The other downer is that now I must hatch out another group of eggs... I had told everyone in the family that I wouldn't be hatching out another flock of peeps... after what happened last year.... Which was that we had a power failure due to an ice storm and because of that we had to bring those late hatched peeps into the living room with the wood stove... so they we sat all in front of the fireplace... lol with a flock of 7 peeps... Oh well.. lucky this year we have a generator so "hopefully" we won't have to sit with the peeps this year! What to do about homeschool???????????????????????????????? THINGS I KNOW: I can do it. The kids want to do it. DH is all for it. Extended family is all for it. Would save us 4 forty minute trips a day...that is 2hours and 40 minutes everyday. I really freak about the trips to school. THINGS I DON'T KNOW: what is stopping me. if the kids will loose interest if I would loose interest.. which I think is doubtful because I enjoy learning and teaching. It really makes sense why our family would homeschool... we are always together we are all about really encouraging our kids to bond together and build those relationships first and foremost. There are so many of us we have so many intersting personalities. We have two sets of the same age groups which is really great for teaching ...two birds with one stone, lol. As far as this winter is concerned I am making great progress on stockpiling a nice pantry. We put in some shelves in the basement... and are stocking it up with canned goods (As sales allow), *red, black and refried beans *peaches *tomatos *sweet potatos our new freezer should arrive in November...as should our organic beef, like I said we have the generator trying to accumulate some more blankets (didn't realize how little we had) utility sink in the laundry room..so the kids can get the water for the animals in there instead of my kitchen sink. Well off to piano.. I think I will bounce this whole homeschool concept off my grandfather.

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• Thursday, October 9, 2008 - To Homeschool or Not...ramblings

I love our waldorf school... I love how everyone treats my children like I do... But it is so far away and is it fair to trap all the kids in the car twice a day for 40minutes... that's a lot of roadtime. But I do love the community at waldorf school... but then again.. I can get a taste of that community at their winter and spring fairs. But is it right or wrong to pull out the girls... they love school.... and with the one ..she has had so much upheavel in her little life already.... and has only been here for 5months... but she does LOVE "momma esquela"...they all do. I really loved being the teacher too. The oldest would be 8 years old but he is a freakin genius so I am at lost as how to start... we have him in waldorf because they do slow him down and make him really work through steps... and they also give him ways to be frustrated and work through them.. because even though his IQ is so high it still doesn't change that someday he will hit something that really challenges him and I don't want him to get frustrated and angry... I want him to have the tools to work though it.. So I think we would "cyber school" him... to start.. just so I could get a gauge of his interests ... but dang it his current teacher is really great and she really is awesome. Could I compete with her? Did I mention I HATE the drive? Oh I didn't?.... Well then ..."I hate the drive!" I figure that my kids could try other things if we didn't have to drive so much to school... like fencing, violin, dance... or whatever... but I am not a "Soccer mom" in the sense of over scheduling my kids and running around all day taking them here and there... I have a great family and I want to spend time with my kids.... not drive them to place to place watching them from a distance. I have 6 kids... 8,6,5,4,3 and 2years. The first three need schooled.. the next two like to play school... and the last one isn't too keen on us having momma esquela. My husband is completly on board for whichever I choose. He endorses Waldorf... but is very interested in homeschooling. He thinks it will be great fun to take them on fieldtrips and work on math... he works from home...That is another thing... We would ALL be home ALL the time ALL together....lol.

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• Monday, May 12, 2008 - Happy Birthday

TO ME!!!! Just trying to get myself in the Birthday mood...lol...maybe I will try again later. Raining today and I normally like to go to the gardening store and pick up some flowers to plant on my birthday... but we needed the rain...so I should just pipe down.

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• Sunday, May 11, 2008 - No Roos for You!

The day has come that my son has truely given me what I want for Mother's day...haha! I have requested for some time to get rid of the roosters....one noisy bird in particular: MysteryChick (who is not a chick at all). When we ordered a box of rare breeds a year ago, McMurray hatchery included "one free mystery chick"...which at the time was loads of fun to try and figure out...but in my heart I knew they chicken guru at the hatchery wasn't about to hand out little hens... and low and behold: Mystery Chick. Everyone says he is handsome...and truth be told, all of our Roos are very well mannered..that is why they have survived this long. But long last the bantam hens are brooding! So in exchange for letting the hens brood on their eggs... my son has finally surrendered mystery chick to auction. So this Tuesday MysteryChick and a few of his friends are getting an all expense paid trip to the farmers market auction! Yipppeee. I say that but everytime I send something to auction I feel horrible about it...for like a day... then I am cool with it, lol! My sheep was lame. I am not sure why. I inspected her hoof and albeit a little long, I could find no reason for the limping. I cleaned it up and cut it down some..so we will see how she goes. She is a Cotswold...the last one I have and I am going to unload her too... although I say stuff like this...it may just be the spring cleaning mood I am in... we shall see. I just really want to reorganize the farm. We have puttered around with different animals and breeds and now I just feel like I know more about what I want and where I want this farm to go...and where I want this to go is less of a hobby farm and more of a Earn-Your-Keep-Farm... example:...if you are a hen and are not laying-get out. If you are sheep you better be dairy.... Gingersnap the horse can stay.. but her babies are worth something...haha, yeah like I would ever sell one of her foals! Okay so anyone want a friendly Cotswold sheep? How about some very friendly roosters...they are all purebreds and very handsome!? No? Didn't think so.

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• Thursday, May 1, 2008 - no bunnies tons of eggs

so the last of the resurected bunnies died. We will just breed the other doe and roll that dice again. Baby bunnies really pull at my heart .... they look like the epitome of helpless and dependant. Maybe when the nights and days are warmer we will have better results. The contractor finished in my new bedroom and bath... HUGE sigh of relief! So me in my never endless list of projects ripped up the tile in my old bathroom and decided to put in new floors and counters in the old masterbath. I figure since all the contractors tools are here...ie. a wetsaw.. and other handy gadgets I normally don't have.. I mise well carpe diem! Spicy (ds2- he is 3) sat and watched me cook yesterday. As he perched on the end of the stool.. he fiddled with a playmobil cow. "momma what do cows eat"... "well good cows eat grass , weeds and hay. Some cows eat grain and corn too." "what else, " said Spicy as he walked the cow over his legs. "well, " I said in a sinister tone, " some bad farmers feed their cows chicken feathers and poo!" He sits up with a start his huge blueberry eyes getting wide, "oh no momma. That's a mean farmer" I stir the rice and Honey brings in the steaks...I hear the little toy cow slip and hit the floor. "I dropped it"....then in true Spicy fashion he cocks his head and I can see the familiar mischievousness in his eye as he raises his eyebrow, "I hope the farmer doesn't get mad"... he laughs hopping off the stool and running off leaving his cow lay on the floor. The chickens are laying so many eggs... holy cow!... There are so many... I would put out a sign to sell them to the neighbors.. but at the moment I just can't take any more visitors or things to do.. With the contractors and our busy life, the idea of random neighbors stopping by for eggs and conversation makes me cringe... so for now I just hand them out as door prizes to everyone who stops by.... UPS, FedEx, Dhl...you stop by you get a dozen eggs... I am starting to wonder if they too are egged out... that UPS guy was pretty friendly and now he sort of drops the box and seems to vaporize! Does anyone know how long it will take for my fig tree to bear figs? Everytime I try and google it I get a ton of Bible verses... but no idea of when to expect fruit. Our peach trees go the year we plant them (planted one more this year)... the apple trees look great this year but I think it still may be a year or two till we see "a harvest" (planted 2 more this year)....The blueberries are good the first year, and look like they will come in gangbusters this year. I planted a self pollinating fig and it is pretty.. but it dawned on me that I have no idea when I will see figs. a Any ideas?

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• Tuesday, April 29, 2008 - Stinkin baby bunnies....

As a child I raised rabbits (English Angora and Rex's)... and I loved it. I loved the babies and the differences between the breeds. The babies were obviously the best part. So I wanting to pass along the fun get my daughter both breeds. We have since scaled back to just the Rex's...since we could not keep up with the angoras. We have just not had any successful litters. We just had a beautiful doe lilac doe make a wonderful full nest last night. We have fed her good food and for a week before she birthed we gave her huge dandilions...too boost her iron. This morning the kids burst in the house to tell me she had at least 3 babies.... we decide to keep out of the barn so she can tend to them. At 11:30 the baby takes his nap so me and dd go out to take a count of the kits....and they are ALL cold and lifeless. So frustrating... I don't get it.. she made a great nest... I aam not a novice at this... but I am no expert. So I remembered the story of Pat Day and how his grandmother wouldn't give up on him when he was born early and she popped him into a shoe box and into the oven to keep him warm... so we brought the babies in and it did not look promising. They just had no life to them. So we rubbed and held them in front of the heater....desperatly speaking Life over them . One perked up in color! Then the littelest started to move his legs... They were still cold but they started to come around. We got so excited. In all she had 6 but we only got 3 to "stay" alive... one just wasn't strong enough and the others never did perk up. So here we are at 8:30 and I have little baby bunnies in a nesting box on my stove. The oven is on and is just barely warming the box. At one point today I did hold the bunnies under the mother and one got something. So my logic is this:... since rabbits only nurse once a day.. I will let her see them when it warms up tomorrow and then leave them out there for the duration...But darnnit I am bringing them in at night. Don't get me wrong I know momma rabbits often have a sense about who is good and bad.. but come on! not the WHOLE litter!!! I may be setting myself up for failure but something in me HAS to try.. I am not sure where it comes from...Lord knows I have an odd compassion for animals. The horse has to go and get bred. I am hoping the man of my dreams picks me up two dairy sheep on the way home. But at the same time.. I feel like I have just suck at letting animals birth on this farm. Ironically *I* can birth unnassisted in my bedroom and then go to sleep... but these animals that should have SO much instinct are really dropping the ball. Good thing I didn't have these dingbats to learn about birthing instincts from! Sheesh. Tomorrow I NEED to make some mozz cheese and yogurt. My brother had bought me this little digital picture frame. I finally set it up in the new living room. I loaded it with all kinds of shots... and loads of the girls (in process for adoption internationally)... and it makes me nuts that they are not here. Don't get me wrong... I know the time will be right.. but my birthday is coming up.. and I would love to be in Guate picking them up... what an awesome gift that would be! I know God is making it happen as it should.. Lord knows they are healthy and have been kept safe from harm....which is more then I can say about others with our agency. I look over and see their sweet faces....they shouldn't have to do grownup things and be strong.. they should be here and if it wasn't for my agency's complete ineptness.. they would have been here 3weeks before Easter!... but no the agency must not see me as a priority... they don't see these girls as a priority. UGh! On a wonderful note... My Handsome man took my dog to the groomers!...she was beyond embarrassing...I never would have taken her because I would think that any groomer would not grasp that she is a farm dog and lives a great life...even though she looks like a hot mess. So now my dog haas been shaved down and is welcomed happily into the house. That was so touching to me....that he would do something for me that he would know that I would want but would never (and I mean NEVER) would have had the ovaries to do! She looks like a huge lab rat... but at least she has been shaved cleaned and shined up. I can live with a huge giant CLEAN lab rat...I mean really is that worse then the nest of bunnies sitting on my stove!

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• Sunday, April 6, 2008 - big exhale

I just need a small space to be me. To just type the things that are going through my head... to organize the plans I have for this farm.. and to look forward to the things to come. This adoption should have been done .. the girls should be here. But for now I feel like a bad mom..... like I am on hold... like a piece of me is one hold... just like I feel the girls lives are on hold because they aren't here... they need to be here.. imersing in this family. I think the piece of me that is on hold is the the piece that feels like a bad mother. I need all my family to be in one place.. I need to be Eight in '08....not eight in late 08.

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