Mountain Lane Homesteaders

Musings on being a "frumpy" homeschooler

It has been many years, but I *was* one. So I wanted to try to share my personal angle. I believe there was something going on this weekend in Homesteadblog-dom that had to do with homeschooling, but I have no idea what that was as I wasn't online. A comment I left last week made me think about the past. It's distant enough not to be painful anymore, still fresh enough to be vivid. And it's a part of who I am. So, I'm blogging it, but the timing of this post might be sorta bad, so don't take it personal in light of . . . whatever it was that happened this weekend!

Yes,  I'm pretty confident that if you had known me, you would agree that I was an ugly duckling . . . .

I wasn't so much shy as I recognized at a glace that me and you would have had very, very little in common. I would probably have had an easier time talking to your mom, or your siblings, or even your twin brother, just about anyone besides a girl my own age! But I was probably perceived quite often as shy and backwards.

The few times I opened up to female peers, I was usually stared at, then told "You sound like you were raised like my grandma." AKA, "I can't relate to you." Which is almost teen code for "You're weird."

I could smell pity a mile away. I didn't need or want it from anyone! Let alone for something as superficial as my looks!

I grew up butchering chickens, milking cows, and at 14yo I bought a 2yo, untrained Quarter Horse mare.  I spent two years saving up for half the cost, and two years paying the rest off. I didn't get my driver's license until I was 18yo because I had not interests in the mall or movies (I didn't have the money for the mall after I fed my animals and we rented movies. What was the big deal?) I could drive 4 miles to the town library and that was as far as my interests really went!

The older you get, the more acceptable it is to have an "odd" upbringing. People like to hear about it. They admire your "strength" and that you know how to do these things and wish they had learned. Hahaha! Right. As a teen you were probably grumbling about mowing the lawn instead of watching cartoons, let alone being handed a knife and told to put up fifty fryers. I used to wonder what it would have been like to be born when everyone's grandmas were, so that I could have fit in more. When nobody watched cartoons and hard work was more respected.

At a time when most of the girls I knew could carry on a half hour conversation about nail polish and lip gloss (or so it seemed to me!) and 'cute' guys (I always thought that term insulting to the masucline gender), I was more interested in if a young man was a hard worker and what kind of daddy he would be than how he looked in jeans or if he was a football player or homecoming king. I wanted to be appreciated, but mostly I wanted a husband I could really respect - that was such a high priority for me! It was also very important to me to know if he would hit or throw things when he was very, very angry. I wanted to know how he would react when he had to change a tire in the rain.

Most of the girls I knew would have been so annoyed by brothers 4yo, 8yo, and 10yo younger than they. For me, they were my "clique" and I *wanted* to hang out with them! I was strong, I was inventive, and I was funny - I was the 'perfect girl' to them. My brothers were my peers, and as such I was influenced not to be "too girly".

Yes, I would have looked different, shabby and messy to the standards of highschoolers. And it would smart - but only around peers! At the same time it was deeply ingrained in me that the right man would love me for my heart, not my looks. I used to look into the mirror and pray that someone would take the time to get to know me enough to see past the exterior I didn't know how to frame to be "fashionable". Most of the time, riding my horse on the prairie or hunting with my younger brothers, it just didn't matter what I looked like.

Today, the pictures I have from that era frame some of the happiest, most innocent moments of my life, but I would never, ever ever show them to anyone. Simply because of what I'm wearing in them. Vanity, I know!

The summer before I turned 19yo, I got my first job off the farm and was enrolled at a local, junior college. If I left my peers alone, they left me alone. For the first semester, as I got my footing, that was fine at college. In the shoe department in a retail store, I blossomed. I love to help people! And I got paid to do it!

Besides, at college it was hard to find the kind of guy I had set myself up for. Most didn't seem to be hard-working, epitomes of virtue. It only took a curse word or two to make me lose all interest in a pretty face. And did I mention everyone cursed? Just about?

My Sunday School class gave me more hope. I desperately wanted to fit in there - here were other Christian young people! Perhaps not raised like I was, but fellow followers of Christ. They must have thought I was so weird to take my younger brother to get-togethers and such. The events always sounded like so much fun that I wanted to include one of my best friends!

It was at Sunday School that a young man that I respected asked me to "please repeate that in English". After reading book after book growing up - and I had the vocabulary to prove it. However, after that comment, I spent years rephrasing things in my mind, dumbing it down, forgetting words I decided no one used but me. I picked up slang, and invested in the many ways to entone grunts, sighs, and other non-words.

Working in retail, I finally learned how to dress, how to walk, how to flirt. I went off of comments I recieved and stares. In a way, I had spent most of my life praying for a young man to see past my shabbiness, now I was realizing that I was still going to have to hope for a young man to really get to know me past my attractivness! Instead of fashion dropping the last barrier to my happiness, I found that I was attracting (by the droves) the wrong kind of guy. These seemed to possess even less virtue!

By the time I met Jonathan, I was working my way out the other side of my adventure and searching for balance. I was still dressing mainly to attract attention, but I was longing for something modest and attractive. I still had a very long way to go before I would find again where I was comfortable. I had decided I was different and that I didn't mind that. I was done apologizing for "me".

The only thing I can figure, is that when Jonathan and I met, it was a meeting of our spirits. I think both of us were moving, in tiny steps, towards the same thing. I had gigantic subwoofers in the back of my car, I wore makeup in layers and listened to bands like Demon Hunter. Jonathan was obsessed with sports and at first I thought him ambition-less! There was very little to indicate that this was a man who would appreciate homemade soap or that I would ever make an effort to learn how to cook from scratch.

Anyway, I just wanted to share my own personal story of transformation . . . from ugly duckling into something a bit more attractive! So the next time you see a "poor" homeschooler . . . save your pity. Spare them your judgement based on their looks, and maybe they will do the same!

You never know what you could learn from each other!

~Ashley~

A few things about our weekend and my husbands blog.........

We had a busy but beautiful weekend. On Saturday we had to get our eyes checked and I just can't believe how expensive it is and we have insurance. I just don't know what people that don't have insurance do?

We both had to get new glasses and I am going to order contacts. I usually wear my contacts all the time but I am thinking I will have to wear my glasses more I am hoping it will save us a little money on contact maintance.

We stopped at the mall nearby and bought the girls a few shirts for the cooler monthes. No... we adults didn't get anything new we are going to have to either wear what we have or make a goodwill stop:) I just can't believe how high things have gotten. I looked at a very pretty sweater and they wanted $75.00 Yikes! No new sweater for me:)

We did have a nice meal out which is the first for this month:) Our goal is one nice meal out and two fast food meals out which is usually Subway.  By the way or nice meal out costed us $ 50.00 which isn't too bad :) Although add another  $25.00  and I could have had a new sweater.

We had a wonderful day yesterday we went to church then came home for a rest day.  We got few things done around the house and outside. We need to make our garden beds soon:)  I also need to put plastic on our bedroom windows which seems to help some on our electric bill. There are many other odd jobs we would like to get done and if the weather stays nice hopefully they will get done:)

Our garden is really growing great!  We will be getting brocolli soon and we are still getting lettuce Yum!  We also planted onions and garlic for next year. If you don't do this you should try it. It is great having something growing all through the winter monthes and the onions and garlic are wonderful!!  We haven't built the beds yet for the greenhouse. Don't worry we will:)

I almost forgot my husband is now a feature writer on another blog. I know you will enjoy it!  You can learn about it on his blog www.gardendesk.com  I know Marc would love for you to add a comment if you have time.

I hope you have a blessed day,

Ma  (aka Renee)

Ugh picture

I am having serious issues with updating my Avatar. Frustrated by my lack of knowledge. I couldn’t even upload the previous avatar after I started messing with it.
I am not happy with it as it is not as big as my other one was. Every time I try to increase it's size a wee bit it won't allow it.
Oh well.
Moving on.
This is me:

Daybook Entry #13

FOR TODAY~ October 13^th

Outside my Window... The trees are changing color- yellow, red and brown leaves dot the yard. I figure there must be about 500 or so walnuts littering the ground too. [A job for the Kiddie Pirates today.] It’s a relatively cool morning.

 I am thinking... that God is in control- No matter what and I need to be patient for His perfect timing.

From the learning room... today is our Explorers & Pirates Celebration! We have successfully completed 6 weeks of school. We will continue with our regular schedule today and have a family celebration this evening with special food and games. Oh, the joys of Homeschooling! Oh and I should mention that we will be talking like pirates today. Argh!

I am thankful for… family connections and the actual connecting. And friendship connections that grow into the feeling of family connections.

From the kitchen... Today is a very special day. With it being our Explorers & Pirates Celebration we are going all out today. Breakfast is Captain’s Eggs & toast, lunch will be Shipwreck Stew and supper is Bubble & Squeak, Spanish Rice, peas, hardtack biscuits and apple tarts (not to mention Limey Punch). We had fun with breakfast and lunch and tried to pick foods that represented countries and staples from that time for supper. [Go here for the whole week’s menu]

I am creating... Pirate-games, helping finish up painting doubloons and more!

I am going... to purchase a couple of straw bales later today. We also may squeeze in a trip to the library.

I am wearing... 6-7 year old blue jeans (ah, broke in at last), brown T, silver heart shaped prayer box necklace. And a pirate bandana (because I don’t have a captain’s fancy hat).

I am reading... Whirlwind by can’trememberwhorightnow and a book by Dr. Kevin Lehman.

I am hoping... for a spectacular and very Pirate-y day.

I am hearing... the girls cleaning up breakfast dishes in the kitchen, Mr. Conductor whistling while he plays with our Frigate.

Around the house... we’re doing pirate-y things! Like swabbing the deck and cleaning the slop buckets! Oh, yes, I’m milking this- cleaning can be more fun (for awhile at least) when given new names and talking like pirates. “Argh, swab harder you filthy sea rat.” It also helps to be sporting bandanas, fake pirate tattoos and having a mock sword fight with the dusters.

One of my favorite things... making school work so fun you don’t realize you are “doing” school.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week... MOPS tomorrow morning (kids have a fire safety class) and computer class in the afternoon, “regular” schooling the rest of the week, plus visiting a friend’s horse farm and (drum roll please) a double DATE NITE- Mr. Steady and I with two of our very bestest friends.

Please visit Peggy, the host of the Simple Woman’s Daybook and others here.

Menu & Pirate Twist on Monday

Notes: We continue to stop at a local orchard/farmer’s stand for tomatoes, potatoes and apples.

Monday -Explorers & Pirates Celebration Day
B: Captain’s Eggs, toast
L: Shipwreck Stew, hardtack
D: Bubble & Squeak, hardtack, peas, Spanish Rice
Dessert: Apple Tarts
Daily Cost: $11.77
Tuesday
B: Baked Oatmeal, apple sauce
L: Homeschool group lunch: Book-it Pizzas (give $2 for Mom pizzas)
D: Crockpot: Layered dinner (steak, potatoes & veggies)
Dessert: Leftover tarts
Daily Cost: $9.04
Wednesday
B: Baked Oatmeal & sliced bananas
L: corn dog muffins & cottage cheese
D: One Dish Chicken Bake, salad
Dessert: none
Daily Cost: $7.97
Thursday
B: Choice: yogurt or cereal
L: Turkey Ranch wraps, chips & pickles
D: Sausage, egg & cheese biscuit sandwiches
Dessert: fruit cocktail
Daily Cost: $7.75
Friday
B: Berry Muffin Squares
L: Diner Dinner
D: Pizza
Dessert: none
Daily Cost: $11.77
Saturday
B: Daddy Cook (eggs, toast, bacon etc)
L: Leftover Smorgasbord
D: Leftover Smorgasbord
Daily Cost: $3.00
Sunday
B: Cocoa Wheats, toast
L: Crockpot: Chicken in mushroom sauce, homemade bread, veggies
D: Lunch Leftovers
Daily Cost: $6.21
Weekly Total: $57.51
~~ Don’t forget to check out the yummy menu ideas every Monday over at The Organizing Junkie’s blog. You just might find your next favorite family recipe!

I always forget my camera!

Yesterday afternoon, in the most glorious autumn sunshine, we went for a walk up on the Downs. I forgot my camera. I still don't have pictures of JJ. I forget my camera. Sometimes I take my camera. But I forget to use it.

I would like a good camera, as mind does not take very good pictures, but I have told myself, no way, no new camera, unless and until I can remember to take along and use the one I have !

We had a disappointing day yesterday. I was ill with a stomach complaint I suffer from now and again, possibly stress related, and church was not good. There are disappointing attitudes, I shall say no more. Then again, the children were very upset, as news of a birth was passed on to them by someone who, obviously, the family had seen fit to tell. Whereas, having promised the children they would let them know, they didn't bother to tell us. It's a small thing, but children are small things, and I hate how they are being drawn into the disappointment of church fellowships with such hierarchies, that humble folk like us never matter enough to be in on anything. If that sounds bitter - well it is a little.

It's a new day, and although the glorious sun has passed, and we are back to autumnal gloom, I will not let it get me down. But I also will not let my family be treated this way, when I know God has no favourites. Since my husband is equally upset about the situation, I fear another move may on the cards.

I’m Back!

I am home from vacation.. have been for a few days now and just getting life up and running again. Hubby and I had a great time! We flew south to get some of the last rays of sunshine and heat before we burrow in for the winter months.  We spent a lot of time pool side and out and about in the sun  . When our time was up we felt ready to come home and enjoy kids and family and look ahead to school time, holidays and a few projects that need to get done.  

In the Home: I am currently working on refining my home organization notebook. I am working on the chores. I wrote a master list of all chores and now plan to put together a page for each day of the week showing what jobs need to be done for that day. Our school days take up a good portion of our day so it is nice to have to put a lot of thought into the house work that needs to be done each day. I won’t be trying to remember the last time the stairway was washed or the laundry room floor was mopped. What time is not spent doing school work and chores it is spent cooking and baking! .. and of course I have my little business to keep making products for. Nice to see and experience the blessings of children that know how to help around the house!  

On Budgets: Is everyone enjoying the drop in gas prices?? I know we are.  Has anyone seen it go below $3.00 a gallon?  A couple days ago I was in town and I saw it at $3.19. Who would have thought I would get so excited about paying  $3.19 a gallon for gas! LOL..  

Pray Please

My daughter, Jaimie is at the hospital with her little baby.

He will be four weeks old tomorrow.

Well, when she went to change his diaper yesterday, she noticed a bump that resembled a boil on his bottom

It burst open and drained quite a bit of poison.

She rushed over to the hospital, and they kept him over night.

They are keeping him tonight also.

They aren't sure what is going on, but they want to get rid of the infection that is in it.

They even put him on IVs!

The poor little guy.

Not to mention, poor momma.

Please keep Jaimie and Gabriel in your prayers.

I'm sure Jaimie will be updating everyone when they make it home.

Be sure to check out her blog at http://www.homesteadblogger.com/JaimieBesaw/

Photo's From The Pumpkin Patch

Here's my group...sitting on top inside the inflatible bouncer slide...they are trying to decide who gets to be the brave one and head out first. There's Jacob, David, Matthew turned around backwards and Miss KatiAnne (and Hunter, our Pastor's grandson). I noticed that most of the 'city kids' waited very patiently while the strange "amish" children tested themselves here. LOL...what those poor folks must have been thinking! I know...we do need to get out and about more, don't we?
The first ones out? Wild Child, of course...and Miss KatiAnne...

And what happens when, as D at As Simply As We Can mentioned on her blog, when country goes to town?

Here is KatiAnne with her pumpkin, Johanna with her choice, and way out there is Matthew, trying to help Miss Ashley from church select hers so he can help her carry it back to the wagon. Now, Miss Ashley comes from rather stout farm raised Southern stock...she really didn't need help carrying a pumpkin, but Matthew, well...always the gentleman :o)

After the pumpkin field, we stopped back at the farm kitchen and got some drinks before heading home. The children all played in the race track section. They had several different bicycles and tricycles and such.
Miss KatiAnne grabbed one of the large tricycles and took off -- with Abigail behind her telling her she needed to pick a different racer so her peddling wouldn't lift her skirt above her knees! She was right -- KatiAnne made about half a round on that track, with constant pulling on her skirt and apron, and chose a different ride. No one listens when Mom says to wear their bloomers.....

Todays Quote....Alphonse de Lamartine