A Mother's Heart

What Do People Crave?

People are emotional creatures.  I believe the Lord created us exactly like that for a reason.  He gave us hearts to feel love, hate, joy, friendship, compassion, etc.  We crave those emotions.  We crave something REAL! 

Why are we drawn to the dramatic story, the tragedy, the underdog who overcomes adversity?  We crave the raw emotion we find there. 

I think that as Americans we are more likely to hide our feelings away than express them.  We live in a very isolated world, filled with words like freedom, individuality, and human rights.  We aren't supposed to want or need other people. 

God wants to fill that need for emotion, for realness.  Am I real with God?  Am I real with others?  I don't think so.

I hope to be able to be more real.

Of My Childhood

After reading Monica's post about her childhood memories, 

http://www.homesteadblogger.com/mennobrarian/

I am inspired to do the same.

I grew up in a small town, with my best friend right around the corner.  We had such a good time!

Playing and fishing and catching crawdads and tadpoles in the creek all day long,

Building sand castles in the sandbox my dad built us,

Lemonade stands,

Making forts and bows and arrows,

Making tapes of us singing in my room,

Telling "stories" on tape,

Playing kick the can and ghost in the graveyard with all the neighborhood kids,

Eating dinner with my family every night at 5:00,

Playing with the dogs and dressing up the cats,

Jumping on my friend's trampoline (the hit of the neighborhood),

Riding 3 wheelers,

Riding bikes to the store,

Washing the neighbors cars,

Doing gymnastics in the front yard,

Walking to school.....

Could any kid have wanted more?  Add to all this a mom and dad who were loving and Godly, modeling for me a Christian life and marriage.  I had a truly golden childhood.  I hope very much to be able to offer my own kids the same experiences.  I was given the freedom to know myself, yet given the guidance to know who I should be.

Confessions of a CF Husband

Edit - Tricia has now recieved her new lung transplant and has left the hospital!  I again urge you to check out this blog.

http://cfhusband.blogspot.com/

I was directed to the above blog by someone's post here on HSB.  I was instantly engrossed in these precious people's story.  I read every post, and in doing so have gained much respect for them and their true faith in Christ through difficult, trying circumstances.

Also, this blog brings attention to the causes of Cystic Fibrosis research and organ donation.

If you want to be touched by a true love story, I urge you to go check it out.  I guarantee you will come away changed, and wholly in love with this great couple (and their little preemie Gwyneth - a true miracle!

Leslie

Dental Drama - Take 2

I have had my second go-round with Dr. Dentist.  I am happy to report that it went MUCH better than the first.  It seems that the fast-acting novacaine is placed in a different spot in the gums, thus the need for the "pushing" of the needle. 

This second round of 2 fillings were done with the old, slow to act, slow to wear off variety of drug.  Now, while I don't enjoy feeling numb for half the day, it was more than made up for by the ease of the shots.  And again, no pain!!

So, lesson learned.  As always, when it's over, I wish I hadn't made such a big deal about it!

Now, if only my family weren't sick....AGAIN.....

Come, spring!

Leslie

Dentist Drama

Oh, how I hate the dentist!  I know no one likes the dentist, but I consider myself an extra-paranoid dentist hater.  It runs in my family.  Let me put it this way - my mom uses the gas just to have her teeth cleaned!!  She says if they would bring the gas out to her car, she'd love it.

So, imagine my joy at discovering at my recent appointment (the first in 3 years, shame on me) that I had 3, count them, 3 cavities!!!

The worst part of this scenario is that I have to make 2 separate visits to fill the 3 cavities.  They wouldn't do them all at once.

So, here starts my drama.  My first appointment was this week.  I drag myself to the office, and say "Give me the gas!"  Of course, the gas doesn't work for me.  So now I'm laying in the chair, panicked, and my body feels tingly.  Not ideal!

Then, the lovely dentist comes and gives me the shots.  Now, I felt no pain, but it felt like he was pushing that crazy needle all the way through my jaw!  Terrible feeling!  Then he reaches for the drill.  I say, "Wait!  Don't you need to let it get numb first?"  He says no, it's the new fast acting variety of novacaine.  Ok, whatever.  By now my panic has reached massive proportions, and I cry through the filling process, which of course only takes minutes. 

Then I leave the office, feeling like a fool for making such a scene.

Drama, drama, drama.

And I get to do it all over again next week.......

The moral of this story is, don't wait 3 years to go to the dentist!!

Leslie

ME Time

I just read a post on Raising Arrows that has me really thinking.  

Me time.   What is it?  That is the question.  I think everyone has a different idea.  So let me give you my definition, for the purpose of this entry.  In fact, I'll distinguish ME time from personal time. 

ME time, is time I want to do whatever I want, AND time I feel I deserve AND time that I get angry and resentful about if I don't get.  This is bad!!

Personal time, time to excercise, read, blog, do Bible study, see friends, etc, as the opportunity lends itself is not bad. 

So, those are MY definitions.  Hopefully that will clarify. 

The post so very clearly expresses what I feel, or have been on the verge of feeling for a long time.  I had realized that I felt the most frustrated and angry when I didn't get ME time.  I felt I was being cheated, and I punished everyone who got in my way, so to speak.  I was being very selfish.

The Raising Arrows post points out so very beautifully the fact that I need to be seeking fulfillment in every moment in my day, not just the ME moments.  I am a mother, and I am a mother every moment of the day.  Why should I seek to "escape"?  My family is not a fetter placed on me, but a joy to be cherished.

I'll be the first to admit that there is, or can be, a certain tedium to doing the same duties every day, but I think it doesn't have to be that way.  She points out in her post that we can be always looking for ways to enjoy our children and our homes. 

In my opinion, the problem is the state of my heart.  Is my heart always looking for ways out of doing my duties?  Or is my heart taking joy and pride in them?  It isn't hard to realize that melting your life into your role as a mother is the most important thing to do in this season of life.  And the season is short.  All I have to do is imagine the day I wake up with no babies at home to realize how precious they are!

I write this more for myself, to clarify in my mind these wonderful ideas.  I am a living example of Christ to my children, and a helper to my husband.  What joy!!

Also, if I am feeling "drained", and that I need a break and just can't give any more, odds are what I need isn't a manicure, or a coffee date with a friend I need more time in the Word!!

Here is the link to the post:

http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/Raisingarrows/432782/

And if I were you, I wouldn't read ANY of the comments.  Aside from the usual nasty remarks from a few people, I think most people missed the mark. 

Leslie

Who is doing the listening?

In my little job here at the hotel, I run into an alarming number of folks who are greatly interested in talking, but not at all interested in listening.  Have you met people like that?  My guess is, yes, many.

Where are all the listeners?  And how is it that these "talkers" somehow think that you are vastly interested in every word they have to say?  Do they think that highly of themselves?

My guess is that they think of themselves, and it stops there.  The only thing they do when you are talking (if they let you get a word in) is formulate their next sentence.

I want to be a listener!!

Leslie

Summer is.....coming?

I can't wait for SUMMER!

My little garden is crying out to me!  The produce in the stores looks so pathetic, and so tired! (and so expensive!)

This summer will be my 2nd attempt at my garden.  Last year I took a break, as a was GREAT with child at planting time.  So my poor soil has had a year to rest.  It is VERY poor soil, and we are trying to help it, but I am definitely a beginner.  I can only hope that the lessons I learned the first year are not forgotten.

My biggest goal is to actually plant some strawberries.  Somehow I never get it done.  I think it's because I'm kind of an impatient person, and the idea of having to wait until next year to see much fruit is discouraging.  However, if I never plant them, it is quite certain that I will never have strawberries!!

So, I will read up, plan, and wait. 

Come swiftly, summer!

Leslie

It's MINE

I was just reading a post on jonash2004's blog, and it made me think of something.

I realized the other day, that when I get the most frustrated during my day, is when I feel that I am being cheated out of something that's MINE!!  Usually my time:

The baby isn't supposed to be awake...this is MY time!  NAP time! 

Why should I do THAT?  It's MY time!  The kids are in bed!

How can I be so selfish, and teach my children correctly?  I pray that I will learn to be unselfish, that I may train my little ones to be giving and helpful always.

Babies! Babies! Babies!

Will I ever be able to think about anything else?  My life, mind, time, nights and days are consumed with babies or the thoughts thereof.  And I love every minute of it!  I couldn't have imagined, just 3 years ago, how very consumed I would be. 

This is the season of motherhood.  My life, if I look back, is full of seasons.  Childhood, college student, young single, young married, and now mother.  Motherhood is the sweetest season by far.

It's interesting to look back, and see the differences in the various seasons.  What I was thinking about, planning, doing. 

My husband and I were reminiscing the other day about the days in New York City in which we met and fell in love.  While I remember quite clearly, those days seem to be long, long ago!  Another life!  I love my husband and little ones so very much.  I feel gratitude for them in every way.

I hope this season continues, and I am blessed with more babies.  What better way to spend my time?

Leslie

Odds and Ends

A week has passed since my last post.  Life keeps chugging along!  Lately I have felt very disorganized (not that I am terribly organized to begin with!) and have had trouble getting things moving in the AM.

I am considering actually - GASP! - setting my alarm in the morning.  My husband works from home, and with 2 little ones, we haven't had to set an alarm on a regular basis for some time.  One of the kids usually wakes us around 7 or 7:30.  However, I feel like I need to be up before the kids now.  Otherwise, I feel behind all day.  It takes longer to do everything!

Also, I need to wake early and have some quiet time with the Lord.  It just isn't happening now and that is unacceptable.  I need to examine my priorities!

On another note, Christmas is coming!  My oldest is only 2, so we don't have any excitement yet, at least from him!  Mom is getting excited, though.  I love Christmas.  I can't wait until next year, when Adam can help me make cookies, pick out presents, etc.

I hope everyone is enjoying this wonderful season!

Leslie

Holiday Gift Giving

The Christmas gift-giving season is upon us!  I realized once I got married that everyone's take on Christmas gifts is different, according to our upbringing.  Now, as I have my own little family to guide through the holidays, I must take stock of our traditions.

My family grew up believing in Santa, although he only brought one gift.  We had many presents, but very little extended family.  In fact, I'm not sure I can even remember a Christmas with anyone other than myself, my parents and my brother.

Now, I live very close to my parents, and I want them intimately involved in our Christmas.  The more the merrier!  But I also realize that I don't want to conform to the ways of the world....of gift giving.  I most certainly would never dream of buying any gift on credit, or of robbing another part of my budget for gifts.  I have a "gift" category in my budget all year round.  How much should I allocate?  That's the million-dollar question, if you'll pardon the pun!

I want my family to feel excitement on Christmas day, and have joy in getting AND giving thoughtful gifts.  I want us to help others (as we should all year round) less fortunate.  I want us to have fun traditions, cookies, songs, games, decorations, that make for treasured memories. 

I just read in Newsweek that a member of the Credit Union National Association says, "Everyone says they want to spend less, and then they go and increase spending by 5 or 6 percent."  It's getting crazy! 

Let my family not "buy" into the mentality that happiness can be bought.  That idea is so prevalent in our society, and so insidious.  It'll sneak up on you.  Fight against it!!

Leslie

wal mart

Let me start by saying I love Wal-Mart.  I live in a small town, with limited shopping, and I shop with a limited budget.  Therefore I love Wal-Mart!  However, recently I saw something in Wal-Mart that shocked me.  In the center aisle, prominently placed, was a display containing calendars with EXTREMELY scantily clad women on the covers. 

I was shocked!  I physically recoiled from such a terrible sight!  Now, I have never been overly sensitive to things like that, so I was sort of suprised at my reaction.  I truly believe the Lord is softening my heart on issues like this. 

All I could think was, would I want my little sons to see such a sight?  We try so hard to protect their little minds and eyes from the world, only to have them accosted at Wal-Mart of all places!  I was goaded into action, and determined that I would speak to the manager the next time I went.  Of course, after making that decision, the display was gone on my next trip!

So, in the future, I will be very vigilant about what surrounds me, even when I grocery shop!

Leslie

Friday....

Just a nice day here for me and the boys.  Adam had an early dr. appointment, 8:20, so we were up and at'em early.  Adam had tubes put in his ears 6 months ago, so this was just a check.  All is well!

Then, I took the boys to see Grandpa at his work.  Does Grandpa ever love showing his boys off!  He is such a wonderful Grandpa, and as crazy about those boys as he can be!  It's so great to see them together.  I feel very blessed!

Then it was back home, where we played some ball in the yard, then my little Adam fell asleep in his chair at lunch.  I guess his fun day did him in!!!

Tomorrow morning, my husbad will get up and make pancakes (Adam loves them with peanut butter!)  and a fun Saturday will be had by all.  I think I will go shopping and get some pants, as my old ones still don't fit, even though my baby is almost 6 months old!! AHHHH!  Maybe if I didn't eat so much cake, I'd lose some weight!

Leslie

Thanksgiving Memories

I love Thanksgiving!

Today I was thinking of some of my past Thanksgivings, and the ones that are the most memorable are my New York years.  While living in NYC, I started a tradition of the Orphan Thanksgiving.  I was a young single, far away from my home, and so were most of my friends.  I even had many friends from countries where Thanksgiving isn't celebrated!  So I would cook an enormous turkey and everyone came to my apartment to celebrate. 

What fun we had!  Of course, how I got a 20 pound turkey home on the subway somehow eludes me.  Funny how we block out the most unpleasant parts of the past, right???!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!