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From my inbox...
Ten Tips to help tame the tongue:
Your language might offend some people, but the tone and attitude behind
your words do far greater damage to all of your relationships- spouse,sons &
daughters, extended family.
you, as a Christian woman and mother can be perceived as more mature,
intelligent, articulate, polite, considerate and pleasent if you will choose
to allow the Holy Spirit to have full control of your language and the
emotions that come with them. You have the choice by free will to have
character and class or to be perceived as being rude, crude and crass and
anything but Christian.
Inappropriate language or angry language is sometimes humorous, but most of
the times it is verbally abusive. It can help vent anger, or provoke it. It
can relieve stress, or cause it. It can be clever and flirtatious, or sexist
and intimidating. Consequently, you as a Christian woman need to be aware of
when and where you begin using. Go to the Father in prayer and ask for the
power of the Holy Spirit to tame it, control it and change it and best of
all stop using such language all together.
As a Christian woman, you need to recognize that inappropriate language does
do damage when it is spoken for the Scriptures state that there is life and
death in our words. Most christian woman probably swear because it is easy,
fun, candid, emphatic, expressive, breaks rules, and somehow partially
reduces anger and pain. But the negatives of this kind of habit outweighs
any "positives." The truth is, dear sister, you really won't win in a
conversation by using inappropriate language. You will not prove that you
are smart or articulate and you will not earn respect or admiration from
your children spouse or extended family when using it. You are not
motivating or encouraging others, but you are intimidating them. Using
inappropriate language doesn't get you hired, promoted, or
romantically/intimately connected.
As a christian woman one needs to start eliminating such language - one way
is by visualization. Try imagining that your sweet little grandmother or young
daughter is always next to you or better yet visualize Jesus being their right
beside you. Try using inflections for emphasis instead of offensive
adjective, and try to be more descriptive instead of using foul words to
describe everything from objects, work and the weather to the way you feel,
the way someone looks and the way something works or does not.
As a christian woman, one needs to think rightly, that is with a biblical
mindset- the "whatsoever things are" and look to the hope and promise that
Christ brings in terms of self motivation to a changed/transformed
lifestyle. Having a positive mental attitude will bring contentment and
brighten one's personality.
As a christian woman, one needs to learn the biblical attribute of patience
and perseverance - be patient regardless of circumstances of being stuck in
the food check out line or in lanes of traffic. Be honest with one's self -
does doing this really matter? If so, and you do not have control of the
circumstances, plan the rest of the day or do the thinking you might say you
never have the time to do (like meditating on God's word, memorizing
Scripture passages).
As a christian woman, one needs to learn biblical coping skills.
Unfortunately, we all live in an imperfect world, yet our expectations
continually are on the increase. Ever ask yourself why? Each day might be
filled with aggravations, delays, disappointments and frustrations. The
truth is, we do have to deal with them so we might as well learn to deal
with them from a biblical perspective. Try considering even the smallest
annoyance a challenge and feel that biblical worth of yourself for taking
care of something with grace, cheerfulness, effectively and without
procrastination.
As a christian woman, one needs to stop complaining - Scriptures give a
picture of a constant complaining woman as an obnoxious drip or a pig with
jewels on- is that what you really want to be thought of by others? The
reality and truth is that no one wants to hear it especially your children
and your husband! Avoid complaining about matters that you do not have
control over. For other legitimate complaints, try to come together with an
amicable and rational biblical solution. Your spouse will admire your
common sense, wisdom and calm approach to the problem.
As a christian woman, one must strive to use alternative words - our
american language is colorful, but those who have chronic inappropriate
language problems repeatedly use the same, unimaginative words that have
been around for centuries. One need to take the time to develop one's own
list of alternative words to foul, nasty words that one now uses, relying on
one's God-given intelligence, a dictionary, a thesaurus and maybe a helpful
book to select a few powerful alternative words and get in the habit of
substituting them when one wants to use the old nasty words. An example is
insteading of using "BS" one could use lie, drivel, hogwash, or balderdash -
these words may not seem to give satisfaction at first, but eventually they
will.
As christian women, one needs to make one's point with grace, lovingkindness
and politely. Sometimes certain substitute words can be just as offensive
if the one is abrasive or if one chooses such words to insult another with.
Think of the response to what is going to be said or about to be said or
written, and decide beforehand if those words need to be reworded in the
statement that is to be said to be more effective. An example if someone
like your spouse suggests to you that tyou are doing something incorrectly,
a reaction could range from "who gives a flying f****" to I don't care" to
"it really does not matter," or "I think my way is right, better, faster,
easier, etc." The first reactionary response is defensive, defiant,
belligerent and reflects a lack of obedience and respect to God, to his word
and to your spouse. the latter replies are nothing more than justifications
that another might appreciate to make them "feel good." One needs to take
the time to make one's point in a mature and convincing manner.
As christian women, we need to think fo what we should have said you know it
is all to easy to blurt out inappropriate language at an inappropriate time
or to yell out tactless or tasteless remarks before one has had to chance to
consider their impact. Think of what could have been said. After one
shoults with an expletive, simply say the tamer word you really wished had
of said. If you make a statement that you later realize that was negative,
confrontational or rude, it's time to rethink of how the statement could
have been phrased. Over time, with these mental exercises coupled by pray
can retrain and rethink one into thinking and acting differently - that is
biblically.
As christian women we need to strive daily to break such a terrible habit of
using inappropriate language. It will take practice, support from others
and a genuine and truthful spirit to desire to be a changed person in this
area, not only by controlling one's language but also the emotions that go
along behind the words. We need to train ourselves to think in biblical
language which is clean language and to switch the negative self thoughts
into godly thoughts and solutions. We need to know that not if, but when
the test and temptation comes, we will know how to put into control of the
Holy Spirit our tempers and tongues and to plan ahead what we might say and
how we might say it. We need to let our spouses and children know what we
are doing - to be honest with them about this problem so that they can
support, encourage and offer correction when needed and that we are trying
to be more gentle, biblical, grace filled around them.
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