Keeper of the Home
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Relations between a husband and a wife

Posted in Family Life

This post is not suitable for unmarried young women or men.  This is for married couples or engaged couples only.

My husband and I have been married for nearly 10 years.  Most people did not think we would make it past the 2nd year because of the circumstances in which we married (I was pregnant, but that's another post).  After thinking back for the last 10 years, it would have been definitely possible that we would divorce.  But we didn't for 2 reasons:  We love the Lord and eachother and we made sure that we made time for eachother.  I am not saying that we have weekly dates or anything like that, but we made sure the kids were in bed early every night so that we had a couple of hours to be alone.  Some nights we talk, watch tv, or turn off the lights. 

The Lord certainly wants His children to be happy and this is a way.  He wrote an entire book of the Bible about all aspects of love in the Song of Solomon.  Seriously, a marriage cannot function without physical pleasure for several reasons.  First, a couple needs intimacy.  The Lord writes that two become one when the flesh is connected.  Without that intimate time you may as well just be friends.  Next, a man physically needs to be released.  I would rather my husband look to me for this release rather than tv, movies, another woman, or by himself.  God made me to be his Helpmeet, not anyone else.  This is a way of helping him to cope.  If my husband doesn't have any release for several days he becomes cranky and then the whole balance of the house is upset.  Last, it's fun!  It's fun when it is done right with the Lord and it's right when you are both eager.  I know many women give excuses of why they cannot "help" their husbands (or themselves).  And quite frankly, most are not legitimate reasons.  Unless something is physically wrong with you such as last week we barely had relations because I threw my back out and it was nearly physically impossible though I did find a way to help him.  Most Mother's are tired.  Well, take a load off, seriously.  When your children are napping lie down for a few minutes.  Your husband will not be upset if he comes home to find the dishes in the sink if he knows that it is for a good cause.  Make sure you get the children to bed early so that you have time to get yourself to bed early and you'll have more energy for your husband.  Or, if the night time doesn't work for you wake up a few minutes before your children and have relations in the morning.  We often do this on the weekends. 

If you and your husband are having problems in the bedroom let me make a suggestion or two.  Spice it up!  I keep an oil lamp on each side of bed on the nightstands.  I will either light that up or believe it or not, I use Christmas candles that are battery powered.  3 of those make a nice glow similar to the candle, but without the smoke and soot.  Go to Walmart and purchase a few items.  Get some intimacy gel for your vaginal area in case it becomes dry.  Buy a few chemises that are like $10 a piece.  Wear something that your husband will like, but not find trashy.  My husband loves the smell of Rosemary Mint soap so I wash my face and neck with it before we hop into bed.  Remember when Ruth covered herself with spices to please her man.  Just make sure that you have him please you as well.  Generally my husband takes a shower right before bed.

Last, remember Ladies, we are the keepers of our homes.  This is certainly as important as cooking, cleaning, and sewing.  I pray this didn't offend anyone, but I feel it is important for us all to remember that our husband works hard to provide for his family and it wouldn't be such a bad thing if we provide for him.  It will help your marriage greatly if you can have relations at least 2 times per week.  The average American couple has relations only once a week.  Think about that divorce rate before you tell your husband, not tonight honey I'm tired.

Blessings,

~Farrah


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Comments

Sunday, October 28, 2007 - speaking the truth

Posted by simplychristian


This is so true. It tends not to be a priority for wives/mothers, but it is definitely important for our husbands, and it keeps marital relations so much smoother. It helps our husbands to be more considerate of us and more communicative and thoughtful. I don't understand all the physical dynamics of it, I just know that it is true. And when our husbands realize that we are making their needs a priority because we know it's important to them, it helps them to reciprocate with us in ways they know that we need as well (cuddling, helping out with tasks, special things for the children or other thoughtful gestures). Many women don't want to discuss this issue in marriage, but it is needed, and I think you did a fine job of it!

I clicked on your blog because I liked the name of it :)


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Sunday, October 28, 2007 - Good post

Posted by rashel


I think this area of the marriage is so important for a loving marriage. My husband has told me that if we are okay in this area, he feels everything else is good too.
Blessings,
Rashel


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Monday, October 29, 2007 - Pray for me....

Posted by Anonymous


My children are older. My husband I share kisses through-out the day. We just don't make the time to be with each other at night mainly because are children are with us all the time. Please keep us in prayer. I pray that we could have that "special time" again soon.


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Monday, October 29, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by a1health


Anonymous,
If you read my previous posts you will find that my children are older. We have a 13 year old stepson and 9 year old natural son. Still, they are in bed every weeknight at 9. Plus, on the weekends we simply tell them that we are taking a nap, turn on the hepa filter, and lock the door during the daytime. It's so important. I pray that you will make it a top priority! If your marriage goes under because of this you will feel terrible.
Blessings,
~Farrah
You Go Girl!


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Monday, October 29, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by southernbelle


I enjoyed the blog today and agree whole heartedly. You'll find that the bedroom takes on a different (better) and more important role from my experience once the children are grown and gone.


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Thursday, February 21, 2008 - Thank you for this post

Posted by fcusick


I am a divorced woman and remarried to a wonderful man. I know many of my problems cam from not being happy and being over tired. I have repented of these things from my past marriage and say ladies - take care of your man and read "Created to be His Helpmeet" by Debi Pearl!


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