Monday, May 12, 2008
Lifestyles of Aging Parents :o)
Shared in Around the Homestead
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You have to know a bit about my mother in order to really grasp my story here. If you already know my mother, well, then, you are already beginning to smile and chuckle knowing something truly priceless is on it's way....she's just that kind of mom. My mother isn't overly tall....she used to be 5'1, but I imagine that is on the tall side now. I read her an article once about how you shrink as you grow older  Honestly, my grandmother is rather on the petite side as well. The rest of us really aren't what you'd call petite, so go figure the gene pool.My mother, over the years, has been a great source of many things in our lives...not the least of which would be amusement. We would all have a truly mundane life if it weren't for her rather 'active' lifestyle. But, my grandmother has always been a different story. She isn't gadget-minded, she isn't really out there with activity. She's just a grandmother. No wild retirement stories, no wild anything stories really. Until recently, that is. A couple of months back, my grandmother, petite, relatively quiet and understated, not one to make a fuss over too many things in life grandmother, received a new phone. She got a cell phone about the same time as well. My aunt set it up for her, added her numbers into it and so forth. I won't bore you with the details, just know that one of the first many calls made from that phone was a prank call to the 911 service. A prank call by my grandmother. My petite, understated grandmother pranked 911. That didn't start the life of stories here...well, it sort of does on my grandmother's side of things. There have been a few other things now and again from her, but really, I think she goes more out of her way to not create stories for us. My mother, however is different. Over the years, we have had many occasions to laugh with my mother. She has driven her car onto the bike path...for quite a distance...thinking it was the roadway at the park. She wanted to get closer to be able to feed the ducks and geese. In her defense, it was winter, there were piles of snow, and those bike paths are painted a bit like a road...still... She has learned to ride a bike in her many years, although that old adage of how one never forgets how to ride a bike isn't true in her case. Her last attempt at bike riding was just before her 50th birthday some years back and she certainly forgot much of how to do it properly. She managed the riding part well enough...it was the stopping part that caused us to add another page to her book of funnies. She couldn't figure out the brakes and dented the siding on her house. This wasn't her first issue with a bike either...she had an exercise bike once. Let's just say she isn't one to do two things at once. My dad bought her a set of bike pedals after that so she could exercise from her recliner without worrying about a frame, a seat or any part of balancing. While visiting the county fair one year with us, she walked through the Fun House with the children. Ahhh, the fun house....moving floors, rising/lowering of stairs, shaky walkways and so forth. Remember the original Grease? Picture that fun house. You know the rotating pathway at the end, just as you exit? Ever seen a gerbil running and playing in his wheel? Need I say more? I wish I could apologize again to the poor disoriented teenager operating the mechanics of that wheel. My mother doesn't carry a small purse. Then you have her new room. It's an addition on the back of her house. Took a while to get it, but she has gotten much use of that room over it's time. Well, she was 'entertaining' some family one afternoon and they thought to cook out on the grill. Being a bit windy, my mother moved the grill up closer to the house. Did you know siding melts? I didn't. But I have pictures to prove it does if you care to see them. There have been other incidents...too many to share really. I would have to have a disclaimer on my blog about those with weak bladders not reading on, or some sort of medical release being necessary if I were to include them. Thankfully, I grew up in a larger city...not that enough folks don't know these stories, but at least it wasn't on of those Mayberry sort of towns. We might have had to move if it were. Well, our newest addition to the scrapbook for my mother happened last week. It has the rare added bonus of including my grandmother as well. Those incidents are more special...as I said, grandma is the sort to try to avoid the limelight as it were. Picture a nice afternoon, early evening. My grandmother is taking a stroll around the half acre back yard. Flowers are blooming, trees are leafed out, the sun is playing through the trees and bushes, the birds are chirping happily. As she walks along, though, a bird decides to take flight...not a well-planned flight, either. Down it came, directly alongside of my grandmother. Komokazi birds in the backyard. My grandmother then meets up with my mother, she relates the harrowing details of her near-death experience in the backyard, they collect the bird -- my mom is a collector of stray, injured or orphaned birds as well. She has had more birds (and rabbits...and squirrels...and raccoon babies...and possums...) in her home under her care than most of your top-ranked animal gurus. On the way to the house, they decide the bird needs something other than the bucket they currently have it in. Enter the garage. Ahhh, there is something perfect for the bird. They collect the item and drat...the garage door isn't closing. No problem. The neighbor closed it for her last time and she watched what he did. She disconnects it, pulls it down manually, then reconnects it. But, it's late and they don't want to fuss with trying to really repair it now. Maybe tomorrow. They exit through the side door, onto the screened deck. Can you tell where this is going? They locked the side door of the garage and head for the screen door on the deck. Hmmm....it's locked. Well, they can go back into the garage and lift the door high enough to crawl out. Not a bad idea.... ...except they had already locked the garage door. They were stuck on the screened deck. Two little old ladies, trapped in a cage, They look around to see if the neighbor might be out. He isn't. It's a Friday night, I don't think many folks were out around their neighborhood. Ok, plan B...they could always rip the screen and open the screen door that way. Of course, they just had the screen deck rebuilt after storms last winter collapsed the last one. Seems a shame to tear the screen. My grandmother, who apparently has some knowledge from her past we don't know about, took some sort of metal wire thing that happened to be on the deck, and worked the door until it unlocked. All was well and they were free. Someone would have taken notice in the morning had they been trapped all night out there. Two aunts call my grandmother daily at 9 am. If she didn't answer, they would have called my mom, who obviously wouldn't have answered either. Both cell phones would have been tried, and someone would have driven over just to check. Or maybe the neighbor would have returned home and let his dog out back. The children have decided that grandma is to keep a blanket and a pillow on her deck for any future issues that might arise. Jennifer said to make sure they take the cell phone on their walks....only problem with that is my grandmother has already pranked 911. |
Thoughts
