Posted in Simple and Frugal Living

We have all been in a situation faced with being asked to do something and giving a Yes answer when we want to say No.  Why do we do this?  What compels us to answer against what we know is right for lives and for what is right for someone else?  How is it that we can find time to take on the activities that others want of us, but can't seem to find time to do what we need to for ourselves?  The answer is Guilt. 

We have been trained to feel guilty when declining a request made on ourselves.  Guilt is a very strong emotion.  It controls so easily, because we have been trained to do so.  Think about advertising.  Commercials and magazine ads are designed to not only have you desire the product, but to guilt you into feeling that you are inadequate as you are.  Now, think about groups that you belong to, such as church, 4-H, co-ops, community orgs, PTAs, sports, etc.  Each one guilting you into participating in their activities.  When we let our feelings lead, we end up over scheduled and stressed to our limit, and sometimes beyond.  Not so good for our family, eh?

Guilt is the main reason we over extend ourselves with commitments, that may not even be important to us.  This makes our lives seem like a revolving door of chaos, that keeps spinning and spinning.  Want to get out of the cycle?  Say, No.

However, saying No, is more complex than just a simple verbal refusal.  Each time a request is made of you, if you are uncertain of your desire to commit, it would be appropriate to say, "I need to think about it. Let me give you a call in a few days."  Now, I don't want you to say this without following through on your part of the bargain.  Take time to evaluate whether or not you want to commit your time to the activity.  Make sure you have gathered all the facts surrounding your personal commitment such as, time, dates, days of the week, time of the year, actual work invovled, and preparations.  Seek Counsel.  Ask God to place upon your heart His desire regarding this activity.  Then speak with your husband on the issue.  Often times, I have found that when I do this, just saying things out loud help me make the decision.  Remember the key here is to take the emotion out of the decision.  Guilt should play no part in the process.  Without doing so, you will be guilted into participating in Save the Farms, because you feel passionate about the work the organization does.  Is this more important than your personal life and the life of your family and homestead?  Guilt will make you feel as though it is, and that  you can do it all without putting the reality of living with chaos at the forefront.

Now, if you answer as above and are then pressured to make an immediate decision, don't fall to the pressure.  Simply say. "If you need an immediate answer, then I have to say no."  Most times, this will immediately shut down the pressure.  There are times when I have been approached, know that I cannot commit, am being pressured, and feel strongly about the activity.  At these times I normally say, "If I have to answer immediately, I have to say no.  However I would like to donate efg to help with the cause."  This is a GREAT diffuser.  It shows your mental commitment, while stating your priority to your family and self.  That is strength.

So remember, when you are faced with chaos pushing in from all sides, remove emotion from the decision and keep your focus where it belongs...at home.  Practicing and applying this principal is essential to living the simple life.

These are my thoughts.

P.S.  If you are interested in learning about a fun and easy way to menu plan, hop on over to Journey to Simplicity.

·              Leslie and her husband homeschool their 4 children in SW Florida.  Their "school" ranges from preschool through high school.  Homeschooling, Bible study, soccer, volunteering keep them busy.  The family enjoys RVing, reading, movies, ice hockey, and are on the look out for a new homestead to expand their journey to simplicity.

·              Leslie finds her respite in reading, anything frugal and simplistic, cooking, scrapbooking, art, music, and continuing to expand her knowledge of homeopathics, natural living, and walking lightly on the earth.  She also maintains a group for barter and trade to help her community become stronger and more resourceful.

·              Visit Leslie at:  www.homeschoolblogger.com/Boltbabe

                                                         www.homesteadblogger.com/Boltbabe