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GrannyG's Critters
2008-May-12
Chigger and Fire Ant Itch Relief

I was talking with a friend today...we discussed fire ant bites and chigger bites..I am so allergic to fire ant bites, hates those little demons...anyway, he said his wife's Dr. told her to go home and buy a bottle of green alcohol, dissolve a bottle of aspirins in it, and spray the bites. He states it works great. I sure intend to try it. He stated the Dr. said it will work great on ant bites or chiggers.  I will make a gallon up of it to be sure...just might need to take a bath in it...LOL..The Dr. told me to stay away from them...I asked him, "have you just moved here to Texas?" He said he could not understand how I could get so many bites. Well, I can figure he has never worked out in the garden, cleaned out the barns, fed the critters...I swear those little creepy monsters hide on the branches, fall down from the tree limbs, and secret themselves in blades of grass, just ankle length, waiting for me to come out to the garden or the barn area. We have used all types of powders. Boiling water poured in the mound seems to work better for me. I do not like chemicals around my plants.I also used ground bugs that were supposed to deter them. I think they are secret cannibals..they just ate them up. It did seem to help some, but I have just learned to live with them and scratch my bites. When it rains,they just move to another spot or new ones float down from the neighbors above us..I just hate fire ants...PERIOD !
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2008-May-9
School is Winding Down

We have fourteen working days left and school will be over till August. I am ready for summer to be here, the garden is coming along...still have spinach and onions, the tomatoes are blooming and tiny squash are growing. It was a fun week at school this week with the little ones. They always make me laugh. Pre-K is lined up and going down the hall, going out to recess. One little red headed girl is bouncing down the halls saying, "rock, paper,scissors....rock, paper, scissors...and as the line is almost to an end,the last little girl gives me a huge smile and says "Rock, Paper, Glue !"  Had to laugh at that one. Today the first grade was busy decorating cards with their painted thumb prints as flower petals. I don't know how many had to share their stories and pictures with me, so cute, so precious. There was a special program, a band came and performed today for the youngsters. Again, as the Pre-K came down the hall, they were a little too noisy for teacher so they were told...."finger on the lips and hand on the hips"...and they all come by me with their finger in the "shhhhhhh" position, and hand on hips until one little girl stopped in front of me and said "But I gotta' tell somebody I need my shoe tied !" These babies just make my day. Teachers desks held flowers and cards to them from their students...here is a cute idea for a rebus type poster for your favorite teacher...glue little candy bars on the poster where the candy name is..a cute gift.....

Thank you, teachers!
You are all Sweet Tarts for everything you teach our children.
You deserve 100 Grand every PayDay.
We know sometimes our kids act like Air Heads and Nerds or like they're from somewhere beyond the Milky Way. (Us parents, too!)
You bring such Almond Joy when you teach about the Whatchamacalit and ignore their Whoppers.
It must be hard to contain your Snickers when those little Sugar Babies tell you Mounds of stories.
Sometimes it must seem that all you do is Skor papers.
Most days you probably want to make like Baby Ruth and just run home.
Thanks teachers! You are the Riesen our kids are Smarties instead of Dum Dums.
You are LifeSavers.
With Hugs and Kisses

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2008-May-5
A Beautiful Surprise

I have new neighbors.....they are kin to the dear lady that used to live there, Sister Ruby. We had a friendship that lasted many years. Her family decided to surprise her with a new double-wide while she was still living, and to their surprise, when it was delivered, they could not get it onto their lot. We told them we would take down our fence and cut all the trees that were needed to get it in for her, and we did. She was so proud of her new home, and she enjoyed it until the good Lord called her to her eternal one. I dearly loved this sweet lady. She would never fail to tell any soul how the Lord called her when she was out picking peas in the pea patch. She had her own church, and quite a following when she was alive. She would play the piano and sing, her sister was a resident at the nursing home where I worked as charge nurse, and the other family members would accompany her  with guitars. Great music, great blessing, great friends. I still miss her.

The new family has been visiting off and on, every couple months, but seems now there are here to stay. We would see each other, but not speak, just a wave to say hello. My garden faces their trailer.

Friday, just as I was getting ready for work, there was knocking at the door, it was the new neighbor...please come, an emergency at their house...I immediately followed behind her, running as we went to her place. An elderly lady had passed out while at their home, so I went to her aide. We finally got some response, and got her into a recliner. Made her comfortable,airway open, breathing better. It can be a scary situation. And we also had prayer for her, something I believe in.....and the Lord is the greatest physician I know. I left her in capable hands and returned to check on her when I finished work. She was alert, she does not speak, but we communicated with touch. Her bright eyes met mine. I told her friends were praying for her and she tried to speak to me. I held her hand, and she squeezed it. We understand each other.

Tonight, a phone call from the family told us to look out on our porch,they had left me a thank-you gift. WOW !There was the most beautiful Hydranga plant I have ever seen, it has at least a dozen beautiful full blooms on it. I have it in the house, I am just in awe of it's beauty. And they had sent cinnamon rolls for breakfast !

I was glad to help, the gift unexpected, and such a wonderful surprise. I will enjoy it for years to come

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2008-May-2
And Her Name Is.....


A baby asked God, 'They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?' God said, 'Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you'

The child further inquired, 'But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy.' God said, 'Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy.'

Again the child asked, 'And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don' t know the language?' God said, 'Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.'
'And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?' God said, 'Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray.'

'Who will protect me?' God said, 'Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life.'

'But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore.' God said, 'Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you.'

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, 'God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name.'

God said, 'You will simply call her, ' Mom'

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2008-Apr-24
Pitiful Little Tomato Plant

Benny asked me, "Have you seen my tomato plant ?"  "Where is it," I asked him....."Out in the garden, go take a look at it.".......What to my wandering eyes did appear, but a bucket hooked up to my telephone pole bird house with a big hook holding up the wire handle, a hole had been cut in the bottom of the plastic  5 gallon bucket, and there was a pitiful looking little tomato plant hanging upside down.. I stifled a laugh to myself...."Well, looks like it is not going to make it to me, looks like the wind is about to twist it off !" He shrugged his shoulders, and looked at the poor little pitiful plant. "Well, I will just plant another one !" The stubborn man in him comes seeping out slowly......Next morning, sure enough, the tomato has been twisted off by the wind....down comes the bucket and he takes off for the garden without a word. It has been a week, and this morning, he asks me. "Have you seen my tomato plant?"  "Where is it?", I ask..."Out in the garden",,,so we walk to the garden....Lo and behold, there is a tomato plant growing out of the bottom of his bucket, up on my telephone pole...I stifle a big laugh...the plant is growing UP...not down like they show in the photos, it is seeking sun and warmth. I say "Make sure it has water in there, or it will die." He asks me. "Does it look like it is curling up to you?"...I just smile and say, "Let's give it a few days and see how it does." I make it into the house before I burst into hysterical laugher....Why can't he just plant it in the dirt ? Time will tell the saga of the upside down tomato plant... will it live?  Will it curl up and grow? Only the tomato knows.
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2008-Apr-16
A Smile for Your Heart

Check out the beautiful western paintings and the music..even with dial-up, I love it !

http://www.greatdanepro.com/Western%20Paintings/index.htm
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2008-Apr-16
A Box for Iraq

I had more fun this morning. I was busy filling a box full of goodies for a group of soldiers in Iraq. I bought all kinds of jerky, several kinds of hard candy, bubble gum, Frito's, Cheetos, several kinds of cookies, from oatmeal to Oreos. When I pack a box, I fill every tiny corner there is..the post office laughs at me when I bring in my boxes, they know it will be heavy. I use the pre-paid boxes, the biggest one, and cram it full. I managed to push in Kool-aide Packets, the kind with sugar that go in bottles of water into any little hole, plus long pieces of jerky that looked like ropes got wedged in tight. Then I found the perfect card....I laughed and laughed...I could just visualize the guys opening the box and reading the card..It was a big Donkey sitting on a life-raft. When you open it up, it says...Thank you for saving my A**.  I try to remain annonymous on the many boxes I send all over to children in need and various people I have come to read about and feel close to, I had to put my addy on the box, fill out a form of everything in the box, but Oh Well, it was for a good cause. If I can just bring a little joy into their lives for a little while, it is worth my time. May God watch over them, protect them, keep them safe, allow them to have a peaceful night, and send them home safely to all those who miss them so much. We miss our loved one lost in Iraq, we do honor all of these brave young men and women.

Update...I received notice that when the soldier called home, he told his Mom he wondered who on earth could be sending him all those boxes...he is on patrol 9 days and one day in...imagine his surprise to come in and find all kinds of envelopes and 20 boxes on his bunk ! That is what it is all about, people who care about these soldiers. He stated it was "Super Cool " and "Me and the guys are really diggin" this". Keep safe, guys.

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2008-Apr-12
The Wedding

Today was grandson Kenny's wedding day. It was a beautiful, sunny day today, but a little windy. Benny was anxious to get out to the ranch where Kenny works and where the wedding was to be held. He kept tying to get me to hurry up. I told him we had plenty of time, the wedding was not until 4 PM, but he kept saying we had to find where it would be down in the pasture..okay...I give up...and we left the house at 2:15PM. We were at the ranch before 3PM. As we arrived, there were already cars and trucks everywhere, the BBQ smokers were loaded with brisket and sausages, slowly cooking to perfection. Lots of family was already there, and soon grandaughter Nikki arrived with the three little boys in tow...she looks like Britany Spears to me, long beautiful blonde hair, slender build, she stepped out of the big truck with her cowgirl boots, short, short skirt, and slip lace top. I had to smile as I saw her walking toward us. She is so pretty. It was a fun visit, lots of relatives and friends milling around the BBQ smokers, big canvas tents were set up, and the party wagon had arrived with baked beans, potato salad, and all the other goodies, pickles, jalapeno slices, onions, kegs of beer, iced tea, and bottles of water. I watched folks as they kept pouring glasses from the kegs, they were enjoying themselves. Kenny popped out of the trailer, he had been shaving, his beautiful tanned face had pieces of toilet paper on it, where he cut himself shaving. We all laughed as he came up and told us he tried to cut his throat, but changed his mind at the last minute. His Dad was laughing at that one. He disappeared, and when he reappeared, he was all neat, clean shaven, dressed in his jeans and white shirt, boutineer, and his cowboy hat. Such a handsome young man he has become, where have the years gone....I picture him in my yard as a little boy carrying an Easter basket, picking up eggs with his sisters. Today he will become Stashia's husband. Soon everyone is getting in their pick-ups and cars, and heading out to the pasture. You go over a cattle guard, up a little hill, and there it was...a very HUGE old oak tree......it was by a small pond...there were rows and rows of bales of hay, and on the bales of hay were colorful horse saddle blankets of all colors. As I looked up at the tree, I suddenly realized there were lariats tied up through the limbs. I laughed to Benny and asked him if there was a noose tied on one of them. The minister was a family friend, he had been there through the death of our beloved Jack, and others, and today  he will marry Kenny and Stashia. Music suddenly begins...of course, it is country...and coming down the hill is the beautiful bride. Her little flower girl and boy go ahead of her....tossing red and white flower petals all over the hillside, the wind blows them about as a soft carpet for her feet. She is breathtaking, absolutely beautiful. I felt the tears roll down my cheeks as I watched her. She was then at Kenny's side, and the ceremony began. The wind caught her veil and it fell off, someone grabbed it, put it back on, but again the wind took it away...and why not ! She is too beautiful not to be seen, she needs no veil, her beautiful black curls fall about her face....and then they exchange rings, and the first sweet kiss as man and wife.....to which we all heartily clap. There were photos to be taken, and then we were all back in our cars and heading for the BBQ, It was just a glorious day. The birds sang in the field to their vows, the wind solftly carried their words of love to each other...just a precious moment in time. The country music and food was devine...Kenny"s Dad, Rocky, helped with the cooking....out of this world brisket to be sure.....and then I saw the cake ! It took my breath away. The bottom layer had wild stallions painted in colored icing, they were chasing each other around the cake...the second layer was steer heads with long horns...I told Benny they had to put our steer, Hombre, on there somewhere. The top layer was a cute cowboy and cowgirl, there were braided candy ropes that looked like lariats on the cake. All I can say is WOW ! I was impressed !  There were boots set on the tables with beautiful flowers in them. The money tree was done with wire and clip clothespins, money was put into bright circular yellow doilies, then folded in half, and in half again, messages were written on them, and they were pinned with clothespins to the money tree. The grooms cake was chocolate, of course. In all, it was a glorious day.....at sunset, we left the happy group, and I hugged Kenny and told him to never go to bed angry, always make up with Stashia, because we are always right. Lots of laughs there, but this will be a very wonderful day to remember.As I hugged Stashia, and called her by her married name, she laughed..."Wow, I have to get used to that !"And with great joy, another is added to the family which I pray, wil last for time to come.

.

 

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2008-Apr-10
If you miss a package.....

If you are looking for a lost package....It is probably on it's way....LOL....I bought a new lawn mower. I wanted one that would not require any gas, no string to pull and start it, so I bought one that runs on a battery. When the box was delivered by UPS, it had been broken open and taped shut. Looked fine, so I signed for it, thanked my favorite carrier and waited for Benny to come home to put it together for me. I went on my way to work, and as I was backing out of the driveway, I noticed two packages sitting on the garbage can, Benny had just  pulled them out of the box, and I yelled from the truck window..."What are those?" and he replied...."I don't know, they came with the mower....will get to them later " so I went on to work. When I got home later, the packages were in the living room and he told me, "Those do not belong to us, but they were in the box !" I looked at the addresses and did not know the people, they were in different towns, many miles from us.....so we started hunting UPS addresses in the phone book..what an eye opener that was...could not find them listed anywhere, so we got a phone book we have kept for years, pack rat habit, and sure enough, there was the UPS phone number. It was an 800 number. I talked to a lady, told her I was not crazy, but this would sound like a crazy call....I opened my lawn mower box, which had been busted and taped, and lo and behold, there were two packages in it that did not belong to me...They must have fallen inside when the box was busted open...Gave her all the information, tracking numbers, and she said she would arrange an emergeny pick-up...I told her to just call Abilene and get ahold of my favorite guy, Joe, and he would know exactly where to find me, either at home or work, I was one of his favorite customers. LOL. He even flags me down occassionally when he sees my truck to hand me a package I have ordered. Today, just before time to go to work, Joe arrived and he was so puzzled. He said, "They told me I missed two packages, but for the life of me, I can't remember"...so I proceded to tell him the long story, and he said he would call and explain to to the office. The packages are now in safe hands and will be going where they belong. Joe laughed and said, "You all are good people, you know it?"...and I laughed. "What would you have done if those had been full of money?"...and I replied, Well, Joe, I would have still called..it would not have belonged to me"....and Joe laughed, "Yep, I know it !" as he got in the brown truck to take them home.

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2008-Apr-5
The Garden

I love to be in the garden...house can sit and wait till I get to it, dust bunnies can get a little bigger, clothes have to wait...I am digging in the dirt. There is such a peace to working in the dirt, I enjoy the feel of the grit and dirt under my hands. I enjoy finding the grub worms and throwing them out to the chickens, they won’t get to eat any of the veggie roots in my garden. I save all the good worms, they have a job to do.We have been moving the garden flowers all around this year. Benny wants to be able to just drive the tractor with the shredder around so he can get the job done quickly. I have been moving many of my "objects de art" around, trying to move them to the east end of the garden. I have many old pans I fill with water for the birds, my strawberry barrell, I now have two as we made another one today, but I will use it for herbs, such as thyme. I went crazy one year and bought a whole garage of red blocks that had fallen down, so I move them into different square areas for my herbs.I don’t think I will run out of blocks during my lifetime anyway. They are old, they have 3 holes in them, and work great to plant one okra seed in each one of them, Keeps them in order. LOL.Tonight, about dusk, we sat down to rest in the old metal chairs. We watched the birds come and go, getting drinks and bathing, then flying to a limb and spreading out their wings and shaking off the water to dry. We watched as the martins came in by the numbers, they circled over and warbled to us, then sat on their houses in the garden. We never realized there were so many birds. The doves came and were skiddish, they quickly drank and left. The mocking bird made fun of all the others.Such a peace, a quiet time for the heart, I think that is why Christ loved going to the garden to pray, there is a such a peace that comes from all the beauty that God supplies us with, a quiet time of worshiping the Creator through His Creation.
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2008-Apr-4
Spring Signs

The scissortails are here and the mesquites have begun to leaf out, so it is time now to plant here. LOL. We did a strawberry barrel this week. We had a big white plastic barrel, as big as an oil drum, so DH drilled 1 1/2 inch circles in the front and sides of it. I did not want strawberries in the back, as it is too hard to try to get to them. We filled the bottom with broken old clay pottery, and a white PVC pipe with holes in it was put into the middle of the barrel, then we began to fill it with dirt and compost material. We added the strawberry plants as we went along. We finally got to the top of the barrel and admired our work...so pretty. Then put the water hose in the hole in the center and let it put moisture into the barrel. Also have berries all around the top. I have lettuce, spinach and onions up. We have been eating salads from them. The collards are all played out, the bugs had a bug dinner and chewed alot of holes in them, so each day a few get pulled up and the goats enjoy the treat. The plum, apple, and cherry bushes are in bloom now.
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2008-Apr-4
Little Town....Huge Heart

Our town is small, about 1200 people and a few old grouches, but one thing is has is HEART.  Our little town threw a benefit BBQ party tonight...hamburgers and all the trimmings for a donation to help three fire departments. All three are volunteer. The time was set for 5 PM to 7 PM. Everyone in town baked or did some little something to help these great fire fighters. I figured all the kids would be left out, expect for cookies, pies, and cakes, so I made my own little surprise for whoever wanted to bid or buy..."Canned Worms". LOL. I know, the title sounds awful, but it was a fun thing to make. I made a template of a canning jar. I crushed Oreo cookies for the "dirt" and added bright  neon colored  gummy worms to fill small plastic baggies. I then put the little plastic bags inside the canning jar template I made and stapled the top, so it looks like a jar with dirt and worms in it. They were fun to make, I have Oreo cookie crumbs all over the kitchen. Got to clean it up !

In two hours, $10,000 dollars was raised. It will be split between the three fire departments. God bless them for all that they do...and we ran out of hamburgers ! LOL

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2008-Apr-2
A Smile for your Heart

This little girl's song will bring a smile to your heart and you will ask....where in the world is that beautiful voice coming from in such a little one....just beautiful...my dial-up is so slow...I have to let it go bit by bit, then move the arrow all the way to the beginning and it will play the whole song...would be wonderful for fast service ! Her voice is worth the wait !

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2008-Mar-30
Strawberries

I love strawberries. I often think of my Mother when I see strawberries. She had taken me as a tiny tyke to Johnstown, PA on the bus (We lived at LLoydell) and she bought some strawberries..I sat down and ate the whole box on the sidewalk. I love strawberries.

Yesterday, Benny made me a strawberry barrell. We had a big while plastic barrel, as large as an oil drum, and he cut holes (circles) all over the front and sides of it. We then planted strawberry plants inside, sticking the green leaves and blossoms out the holes, filling the inside with good soil . There is a large pipe in the center of the barrel that has holes from top to bottom, I can just insert the water hose in the top and the water will run into the pipe, then into the barrel by the holes to water the berries. I am counting my berries before I get my basket ! LOL

And just for my grandaughter Tiffany...here is my Strawberry Pie Recipe...with love ......

Strawberry Pie

1 quart of fresh Strawberries, sometimes you need a little more

2  8" cooled Pie shells

Mix and cook, stirring until thick, and clear,...

1 cup sugar

2 cups cold water

3 TBSP corn starch

When it is nice and thick, add :

1 three ounce package of Strawberry Jello, stir well, and let the mixture cool.

Arrange the strawberries in the cooled pie pan. I like mine to be about the same

size, I use the whole berries, and slice up a few to put here and there..then Spoon

the cooled filling over them, nice and smooth. Refrigerate overnight. Then top with

Cool Whip and cut and serve.

These are soooooo pretty.They do not last long at church suppers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

c

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2008-Mar-26
Critter Feed Bill


I am beginning to think my critters are going to have to go on a diet. I just bought feed this morning, and again, the prices are up a little more...and a little more. The sunflower/kernel mix I buy for my doves (and some wild bird feedings as well) is usually around $13. When I bought it today, it had gone up $4 in price. YIKES ! I added some milo to the feed today, trying to hedge a little. This was todays prices....


Goat and kid...$7.25 a bag
Lay pellets $10.15 a bag
Milo $ 8.70 a bag
Hen Scratch $ 8.95 a bag
Sunflower Mix $17.80 a bag
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2008-Mar-22
Texas Cactus Cuties....

This will warm your heart and bring a tear to your eye. Listen to the Texas Cactus Cuties sing the National Anthem.......all I can add is AMEN !
 
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2008-Mar-21
Critter Care Vet LInk

Living in a small town without a vet can be a problem at times. Yesterday, Benny and I had to load up the dogs and the new kitten, Naughty Girl, and go to the vet about 25 miles from here to update rabies shots and get a kitty check up for a temperature and cough. The bill was close to $300 when we got done for the one visit. YIKES ! I long for the "good old days" when we could buy a bottle of rabies vaccine and do our own instead of having to pay through the nose for a very necessary injection for animals. Our animals stay in their own yards, fenced in, but there is always the possibility of a rabid racoon or other critter coming around our protected critters. We also have to depend on ourselves most of the time to take care of minor cuts, tears, and even broken bones. It took almost a year to get Cookie, the pygmy goat, back on her feet. I even paid the vet to come and treat her, he told me to just put her down and buy another goat, it would be less money...love has no price tag when it comes to my critters....I got online, and with the help of MANY from as far as Nova Scotia, I managed to save her. She even gave birth during the crisis to a little goat we named Pilly, because we popped so many pills, Vitamins, Antibiotics, you name it, into her, plus range of motion for months, and turning her every couple hours when she could not walk, even lifting her and rocking her in the old rocking chair in the middle of the goat yard. Then we had a broken leg ith Jingles, the Christmas baby. A homemade cast out of PVC pipe worked there, I think we have taken care of some really odd cases. Sometimes people bring sick critters to me, some heal, some pass, life goes on, but we try our best. This link gives alot of information, and you can learn from it.

http://www.merckvetmanual.com/mvm/index.jsp

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2008-Mar-17
Quiltmaker Magazine

Quiltmaker Magazine....

I am chomping at the bit today, I am sooooo mad. I went to the mailbox to get the mail and had a letter from a collection agency in NY telling me I had not paid the $21.95 for my subscription nor communicated with them in any way, and they were persuing collection of the unpaid bill. I called my bank, had to go get copies front and back of the check, and I sent a fiery response to the collection agency and to the magazine...they can shove it where the daylight doesn't shine...In all my years of receiving their magazine, I just cannot believe they turned me into a collection agency ( and I do not owe them a red cent) for a renewal fee that I did not respond to...I still have issues due me, but they can burn them as far as I am concerned.
UPDATE...March 31st...I went to the mailbox today, and what to my big surprise, there was an issue of Quiltmaker...remember, they stopped my issues (although they were paid for...I sent the check as proof) and they had turned me into a collection agency for heaven knows what reason...I have only subscribed to it since the first issue...years ago....and the laughing part....they have added a whole YEAR onto my subscription . I laughed all the way from the mailbox to the easy chair. For some reason, I am just not that crazy about that magazine anymore. Feel like it is just sour grapes. Guess they are sorry ??? Oh well, I will not cast the first stone, I will throw all the paper inserts !!
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2008-Mar-13
Thankful for Washer and Dryer

                THANK YOU JESUS FOR MY WASHER & DRYER

i received this in an e-mail today and just loved it, so am sharing. I always hated to hang out the underwear ! 

A bit of nostalgia
The clothes line....a dead give away.  Do the kids today even know what  a clothes line is?
For all of us who are older, this will bring back the memories.
  THE BASIC RULES
  1. You had to wash the clothes line before hanging any clothes.
  Walk the length of each line with a damp cloth around the line.
  2. You had to hang the clothes in a certain order and always hang
 whites with whites and hang them first.
  3. You never hung a shirt by the shoulders, always by the tail.
  What would the neighbors think?
  4.  Wash day on a Monday...........never hang clothes on the weekend or Sunday for heaven's sake!
  5.  Hang the sheets and towels on the outside lines so you could hide your 'unmentionables' in the middle.
  6.  It didn't matter if it was sub zero weather.............clothes would 'freeze dry.' 
  7.  Always gather the clothes pins when taking down dry clothes.  Pins left on the line was 'tacky'.
  8.  If you were efficient, you would line the clothes up so that each item did not need two clothes pins, but shared one of the clothes pins with the next washed item.
 9.  Clothes off of the line before dinner time, neatly folded in the clothes basket and ready to be ironed.
10.   IRONED??????????    Well, that's a whole other subject.
A POEM
  A clothes line was a news forecast
  To neighbors passing by.
  There were no secrets you could keep
  When clothes were hung to dry.
  It also was a friendly link
  For neighbors always knew
  If company had stopped on by
  To spend a night or two.
  For then you'd see the "fancy sheets"
  And towels upon the line;
  You'd see the "company table cloths"
  With intricate design.
  The line announced a baby's birth
  To folks who lived inside
  As brand new infant clothes were hung
  So carefully with pride.
  The ages of the children could
  So readily be known
  By watching how the sizes changed
  You'd know how much they'd grown.
  It also told when illness struck,
  As extra sheets were hung;
  Then nightclothes, and a bathrobe, too,
  Haphazardly were strung.
  It said, "Gone on vacation now"
  When lines hung limp and bare.
  It told, "We're back!" when full lines  sagged
  With not an inch to spare.
  New folks in town were scorned upon
  If wash was dingy gray,
  As neighbors carefully raised their brows,
  And looked the other way..
  But clotheslines now are of the past
  For dryers make work less.
  Now what goes on inside a home
  Is anybody's guess.
  I really miss that way of life.
  It was a friendly sign
  When neighbors knew each other best
  By what hung on the line!
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2008-Mar-13
My Smile for Today

Dear Internal Revenue Service:

Enclosed you will find my 2007 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00
in taxes.

Please note the attached article from the USA Today newspaper; dated 12
November, wherein you will see the Pentagon (Department of Defense) is
paying $171.50 per hammer and NASA has paid $600.00 per toilet seat.

I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2,400) and six (6)
hammers valued @ $1,029), which I secured at Home Depot, bringing my
total remittance to $3,429.00.

Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the "Presidential Election
Fund," as noted on my return.

You can do this inexpensively by sending them one (1) 1.5" Phillips
Head screw (see aforementioned article from USA Today newspaper detailing
how H.U.D. pays $22.00 each for 1.5" Phillips Head Screws).

One screw is enclosed for your convenience.

It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward
to paying it again next year.

Sincerely,

A Satisfied Taxpayer

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