Catherine Love~ Ramblings from my Heart and Home

New Year, New Plans

Honestly, I must say I am overwhelmed at the moment. I was up until 5:30 am today working on signs for Fresh Gear. We have been gone since Dec. 26, our internet connection was limited and unreliable, and we are all so very tired of the 16 hour work days. But that comes with this business and this business is our family business, so we smile and move forward graciously.

I am just beginning to get to read a some email from this past week. I got some giggles already; THANKS! With such long days I haven’t had much time to do anything else…even our RV is looking more like a speed dressing room than our little home away from home. However, even though I haven’t been able to maintain an internet connection, I am still working on paper. WAHOO! There are some great things coming and you won’t want to miss them!!! Here’s just a little peek into what I have in the works for this month:

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Been wondering...

Not worrying, but wondering, about the WAH Program.  I've finished all my training and passed the test.  Just waiting to be assigned to a project.  And waiting.  And waiting.  But anyway...As I was wondering, not even really praying, just...wondering...

God stepped into the gap and supplied the financial need.

I have a full-time child joining my little daycare.  She starts tomorrow.

I ask that you pray for this little one.  Her Mommy and Daddy are in the military.  She arrived yesterday to live with her Grandparents, who live across the street from me.  It may be that Mommy and Daddy are being deployed???  Anyway, this little girl has alot of adjusting to do ... coming to live with Grandparents who are strangers to her, also, being here with me all day, while Grandparents are at work.  Pray that I can be a source of stability for her.

Hope ya'll have a great evening.

In Him,  Jill (the big sister)

This is the day that the Lord has made; I will rejoice and be glad in it.

Being Available.

Pastor preached yesterday on being available to God for Him to use. And it stuck in my thoughts all the day long. I mulled it over, I chewed on it and I prayed and thought some more.
I believe many people need to be prodded to be available because of the shortage of volunteers that I see all around me. Few are doing the work of many and so much more needs to be done . . . . So we put out the call for others to step up and step in.
But what does it mean to me to be available? Rarely do I turn people down when help is needed- I’ve filled in the gaps at church in more places than I care to think. Some worked, some didn’t. But I felt I had to stick to the adage “See a need, fill a need.” I can’t think of how many times I’ve sighed in resignation and said, “Oh alright, if no one else is going to do it I guess I will.”
What kind of an attitude is that?
So I ask again what does it mean to me to be available?
My thoughts are running in an entirely different direction. I have kept myself so busy- doing what I thought was needed and necessary that I now find . . . . .
I haven’t been available.
I’ve been too busing DOING to be available.
Being Available is not synonymous with “Do, Do, Do”.
I got that part wrong.
God is calling me to Be Available.
To be free from other burdensome jobs/ministries/etc. in order to hear Him calling me.
I heard Him call me in the quiet yesterday afternoon.
He called me to
REST.
Simply rest.
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” [Matthew 11:28-30]
I’ve been going about it all wrong and it took hitting the wall at warp speed and spending a few days trying to summon the energy to crawl out for me to begin to hear.
God isn’t always calling us to “do” something, sometimes He calls us to be quiet so He can speak to our hearts, so He can help heal.
I believe God calls people to times of rest.
I believe because I know He is calling me to such a time.
I’ve become dysfunctional.
I’ve become what I dreaded may happen when I began over seven years ago . . . .
All about the business and busyness and becoming lost to the quiet in the secret places.
Becoming a world-class “do-er” isn’t God’s design for me.
Super-woman-wife-mom-youth director-and-whatever-else-I-can-tack-on-to-show-the-world-that-I’ve-got-it-all-going-on is not the title God has in mind for me.
He just calls me to be His servant.
And He is calling this servant to a time of Rest.
Rest.
Restore.
Renew.
Revitalize.
Rebuild.
Refresh.
Rekindle.
Recharge.
God’s got a plan for me- and I now know it starts with stopping.
Be Available.

My Cup Of Tea...

Back in the Victorian era, tea parties were an event to simply get together with your friends, with whom you shared common interest with, to have an enjoyable afternoon. Today in our century we don’t host “tea parties”, but we do plan events to get together with people and families of whom we enjoy their company. I have always thought very fondly of hosting a tea party, all dressed up, as the Bennett sisters would have been, or even as Anne and Dianna did in Anne of Green Gables (though theirs ended in disaster)...Read more

Amy Update

I continue to covet prayer and wish to extend my deepest gratitude to everyone who continues to lift up my prayer request. All the prayers lift me up and sustain me. Thank you.
Mr. Steady and I will be meeting with our pastor this Tuesday evening to give him our proposal of cutting down my hours (and pay). We will also be asking that the church board begin to actively seek a replacement for me. Our plan is that I be able to help see the youth ministry through this transition. We are setting a “time limit” stating that I would like to be phased out of paid youth ministry be early May.
This has been an extremely hard decision for me to make. And yet as things begin to come together to see the end- I am beginning to feel the release. I have never before been brought so low by a circumstance. I have never before not been able to bounce back.
BUT
It has been a most humbling experience.
I hit the wall.
And found God right there beside me.
I have cried buckets.
I have complained and whined to the Lord.
And I wasn’t afraid to do so- I know my God is bigger than my pain. Big enough to hear my whining.
Most definitely.
I have stepped back these past few days- I couldn’t do anything but.  I couldn’t “work” as I needed to- just how was I suppose to do more than the mechanics? Wednesday morning it took all my fortitude to get out of bed and face the day. I have never been a wallow-er and I felt that what I was doing was wallowing.
In pity, disgust, anger and despair.
Etc. Etc. Etc.
I cried out and said “I’m burning out! I can’t do this!” and felt that I wasn’t really heard.
But I was.
God heard me.
Mr. Steady heard me.
As did many others who lifted me up in mighty prayer.
Each day God met me right where I was at.
Each day got a little bit easier.
I have begun to experience the quiet again.
I believe God is giving me a cleaner, clearer vision.
The better to see my priorities with.
The better to see my family with.
The better to see myself with.
I love being “needed” and “necessary” but . . . . . .
It doesn’t matter how needed and necessary I am to others if I’m not delivering the goods here at home first and with my bestest most worthwhile effort.
I can no longer be split in two by ministry away from home and the ministry right here at home.
God has shown me time and time again that Home IS my ministry.
Period.
My prayer is that my pastor listens and begins to understand and accepts the proposal. Our church board’s monthly meeting is this Thursday evening and it is our desire to bring this proposal to the board at that meeting- the sooner “the cat is out of the bag” the sooner they can begin looking for a replacement and all the sooner for me to feel I can take a deep breath and am not squeezed in by the pressure to perform.
The sooner I can begin to rest.