A Homestead Daughter

• Thursday, May 8, 2008 - My Dad is Home!

What is it like to have Dad as much a part of your life as Mom is? Well, to be honest, I didn't think he was any less a part of my life then my mom... until he came home. That was about five years ago and now I can't imagine life without having him around. At first it was hard, and to be honest, disrupted things quite a bit. Mom admitted that her house got messier  and there was adjustment in the parenting roles as Dad had to take over the discipline and leadership. Mom had to learn where her new ground was as the heart of the family instead of the head director. It was probably the easiest for the younger boys (9 and 6) to adjust to having him around because they desperately needed a male leader in their lives at that time. Any praise that he gave them for their projects lit up their faces with pride and any suggestions he offered were heeded intently in their young minds. It was probably a little harder for Andrew, (the oldest at 13), to adjust to having another man around the house, taking over household duties. They had to adjust to working smoothly as a team together and that probably took a few years. Now, both knowing their places, they can create, build and finish projects quite quickly. For us girls, it meant more dishes and a harder attempt at making delicious meals.  Suddenly, there was another male in our lives besides our brothers that we wanted to impress. I didn't think it would be that different, but it was. Especially in the beginning, we always wanted to be where dad was... to find out what he was doing, to help where ever we could and just get to know our dad. You know, he can actually get into some pretty silly moods. I learned stuff about his childhood that I never knew. Memories that he has of his boyhood or how he met Mom. And, (I think), we finally have grasped his sense of humor enough that we are no longer the subject of his jokes and can actually spin them on him. All this when I thought I knew all there was to know about my dad! The biggest adjustment that had to be made, (surprisingly), came from my youngest sister. She was just a tot (3 years old) when Dad came home, so who would have thought that she would care? Well, he was a stranger. When Dad still worked and would come home on weekends, she was quite literally afraid of him and would hide behind Mom. It took a long time for her to warm up to Dad and now, she just can't get enough of him. Even though she's 8 now, she still loves to sit on Dad's lap during the family rosary in the evenings. They have their own way of teasing each other now, that's only funny between them, it seems. My youngest brother, Johnny, was born the year that Dad came home. I don't know what we would have done with that child if it weren't for Dad. He would still be an untamed lion if not for Dad's natural taming tactics that (thank goodness!) toddlers can, in fact, comprehend. They have gotten to be close buddies now. My sister commented to me the other day about how we never seemed to notice how unnatural it was that one of our family members was leaving every day, all day, to go to work. How come we didn't realize how badly we needed him then? Now, we could never let him go. God designed families to be raised with both a Mother and a Father for a reason. How sad that the evil one knew that by sticking a wedge in that design, he could break up the natural family life so dramatically. How he has succeeded at it, too!  I had a friend who casually admitted to me one time that she didn't know her Dad at all and, in fact, was rather scared of him. She didn't seem at all concerned about it either, it was just the way it was. Families need their Dads at the head. He needs to know what's going on in the lives of his children so he can direct them as needed, but, how can he know what's going on when he isn't there? Dad, thank you for making the decision to come home to us! We love you!!

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