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Well we are getting ready for my hospital visit. I go tomorrow to the doctor and then to the hospital to get all the pre reg stuff done at the hospital. I am not looking forward to this not at all.... I will be there in the hospital for two days at least. I have to be at the hospital on Wednesday at 7am. The children will stay with friends from church. The girls will come home daily to take care of things here and keep the house all together. I have to admit i have been over every emotion I think there is. I have been ok lets get this done, to oh god why me, to I still want more children God.. Now i am just at the point of I am tired of being cut on.. Like i said i am and have every emotion one can have. It is raining here again. Oh boy I know that i should be thankful for the rain but dear God enough is enough. I am having enough problems with my emotions and then you add rain into the mix and Lord that is just to much. The children are taking all of this better than me. Oh course they are teens and seem to take things better on the outside than us adults. Then again after the year we have had last year i am almost sure they are just used to it.. You would think i would be yet i am not.. Go figure.... I am planning on being out of the hospital by friday if everything works out ok. I am now on a liquid diet. OH the joy.... Just what someone wants jello for a day....So much fun.. hee hee... Oh well could be worse I could have to eat brussle spouts all day long.. :-) I will try to update you as i can.Or i should say i will have my oldest update you as she can. have a blessed day all glenda |
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Well the days are now being counting down until i have my surgery... I have to say i am starting to feel a little antsy.... I mean I know that i know i have to have this done but... I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN AGAIN.... I am sitting here and I have been crying on and off all night long.. Now my head understands that with all my other health issues i cant ever think of having another child.. I mean it could kill me.. Even if everything was perfect with my cancer issues.... Still i could not have anymore children.. But my heart breaks.. I always loved the feeling of carring that little ones.. To feel that little move, to hear there heart beat for the first time... I will never get to experience that again.. never... Medically i have to have this done.. There is NO choice... But my Heart .......................................
Please pray that God will give me peace in this.. glenda |
